Q: How do you make a tissue dance?
A: Put a little boogey in it!
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At a dancing party a shy boy approached a girl and asked, "Will you dance with me, please?"
The arrogant girl says, "I don’t dance with a kid."
The taken back boy apologized, "I am sorry, I did not realize you were pregnant."
What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
One is white, plastic, and dangerous to children.
You put groceries in the other.
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A little boy was learning about God in his church, and he was talking to his mother about it.
She, not wanting to place prejudice in the little boy’s mind, sat him and said: “God is not a man or a woman, and God is not black or white.”
To which the child responded, “Well, then is God Michael Jackson?”
Friendly reminder that Adele and Taylor Swift are the same age, yet one is pregnant and another stuck in middle school.
Q: "What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?"
A: "You can't tuna fish."
Accountant after reading a nursery rhyme to his child,"No, son. It wouldn't be tax deductible when Little Bo Peep loses her sheep. But I like your thinking."
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When Miley Cyrus is naked and licks a hammer it's "art" and "music"... but when I do it, I'm "wasted" and "have to leave Home Depot".
Please let me know in advance if you want to invite any secret love children to your Father's Day brunch.
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Q: What's the difference between an NFL player and an elevator?
A: The elevator can raise a child.
Chuck Norris' guitar amp goes up to 12.
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