A girl goes to a library.
Girl: I want the book, "Women- The most perfect and intelligent."
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Librarian: Comic section is at the backside.
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Q: What happens if your dishwasher stops working?
A: You punch her in the face and remind her of her duties.
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An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution.
"You don't want to try these techniques at home."
"Why not?" asked somebody from the audience.
"I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years," the expert explained.
"She made lots of trips between the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying a single item at a time.
One day I told her, 'Hon, why don't you try carrying several things at once?'"
"Did it save time?" the person in the audience asked. "Actually, yes," replied the expert.
"It used to take her 20 minutes to make breakfast. Now I do it in seven."
A man saw a lady with big breasts. He asked, "Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?"
She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes.
Eventually the lady asks, "Aren't you gonna bite them?"
He replies, "No, it's too expensive."
Question: Why do women have smaller feet than men?
Answer: So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.
How fast can a women drive? 68 mph.
If she hits 69, she flips over and blows a rod.
Q: What book do women like the most?
A: "Their husbands checkbook!"
At a government affair, the wives of four world leaders are chatting about how people refer to a penis in their countries.
The wife of Tony Blair says in England people call it a gentleman, because it stands up when women are entering.
The wife of Boris Yeltsin says in Russia you call it a patriot, because you never know if it will hit you on the front or on the back side.
The wife of Chirac says in France you call it a curtain, because it goes down after the act.
With great resignation, the wife of Clinton says in the USA you call it a rumor, because it goes from mouth to mouth…
What do you call an open can of tuna in a lesbians apartment?
Potpourri.
When Adam asked Eve out for dinner she replied: "Oh I'd love to, but I haven't a thing to wear."