Joke #6918

Somebody stole my mood ring and I'm not quite sure how I feel about that..
Vote:
has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: life

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

If you messed up your life, you could press "Ctrl, Alt, Delete" and start all over! To get your daily exercise, just click on "run"! If you needed a break from life, click on suspend. Hit "any key" to continue life when ready. To get even with the neighbors, turn up the sound blaster. To add/remove someone in your life, click settings and control panel. To improve your appearance, just adjust the display settings. If life gets too noisy, turn off the speakers. When you loose your car keys, click on find. "Help" with the chores is just a click away. Auto insurance wouldn't be necessary. You would use your diskette to recover from a crash. And, we could click on "SEND NOW" and a Pizza would be on it's way to you.
Vote:
has 60.69 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: car, IT, life
Q: What bounces and makes kids cry? A: My donation cheque to Children in Need.
Vote:
has 44.46 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: kids, life
The first half of life if ruined by your parents, the second by your kids.
Vote:
has 58.58 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: life
A man is out walking in New York when he sees a girl being savaged by a fierce dog. He fights off the dog by beating about the head with a stick and saves the girl's life. The girl's mother rushes over to him: "Thank you, thank you, you are a hero, tomorrow all the newspapers will have headlines about Brave New Yorker Saves the Life of Young Girl" "But I'm not a New Yorker," the man says. "Oh, then it will say in all the newspapers Brave American Saves Life of Young Girl," says the mother. "But I'm not an American," the man says. "What are you then?" asks the mother. "I'm an Iranian," the man says. The next day he sees the newspaper headlines: Islamic Extr*mist kills American Dog.
Vote:
has 73.22 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, dog, life
You are so selfish! You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.
Vote:
has 68.44 % from 93 votes. More jokes about: beauty, dirty, flirt, life, sex
Fast way to screw up someone's Knock Knock joke...? "It's open."
Vote:
has 68.30 % from 648 votes. More jokes about: knock-knock, life
Is it true that 5 minutes of laugh prolongs your life by 5 minutes? It depends who you are laughing at – it may as well shorten it...
Vote:
has 76.67 % from 98 votes. More jokes about: life
A man walks into a chemist’s and says, "Can I have a bar of soap, please?" The chemist says, "Do you want it scented?" And the man says, "No, I’ll take it with me now."
Vote:
has 30.20 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: life, science
Q: If Dan Quayle, Bob Packwood and Bill Clinton participated in a spelling contest, who would win? A: Dan Quayle. He's the only one who knows that "harass" is one word.
Vote:
has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, life
"Killed it" is a figure of speech implying someone stopped the banter. To Chuck Norris that's just the motto of his life.
Vote:
has 45.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, life