Joke #6918

Somebody stole my mood ring and I'm not quite sure how I feel about that..
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has 66.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: life

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Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. "In honor of this holy season" Saint Peter said, "You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven." The Englishman fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. "It's a candle", he said. "You may pass through the pearly gates" Saint Peter said. The Scotsman reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells." Saint Peter said "You may pass through the pearly gates." The Irishman started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties. St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?" The Irishman replied, "These are Carol's"
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has 83.63 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: death, heaven, life, women
If you can't say something nice, say it in French.
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has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: life
A government is doing really bad and is very likely to lose the election. So they gather the cabinet to deal with the situation. "Guys we do not go well, we will lose power, we will lose everything. We need to do something" the prime minister said. A minister pops up and says: "We will redecorate! We will change desks, chairs, sofas, floors, curtains, everything will be changed." The others also agree and start to make plans. So sometime later, the maid comes inside, and she sees them so upset all working hard making plans, and says: "What about you guys, What is going on?" "We do not go well as government and we are changing the decoration" they reply. The maid shrugs tentatively. "Why do you react like that?" "What can I tell you guys" she answers. "Before I came here for work, I used to work in a brothel. And when business didn’t go well, we did not change the furniture, but the hookers."
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has 73.89 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: life
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
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has 70.40 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: life
Two skeletons meet, and one asks the other, "Did you die before the Social Security reform, or after?" "No, I'm still alive."
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has 72.56 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: communication, life, political
About 4,000 years ago: God: "I shall create a great plague and every living thing on Earth will die!" Fish: *Winks at God and slips him a $20 note* God: "Correction, I shall create a great flood!"
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has 64.76 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: death, god, life, money, time
I really do have a soft spot for my MIL. It's out in the garden behind the garage.
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has 78.53 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: geography, life, mother in law
Q: Wanna hear a joke? A: Women's Rights.
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has 67.81 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: life, mean, women
Q: What do Captain Kirk and toilet paper have in common? A: They both wipe out klingons.
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: life
Q: What's the difference between a black fairy tale and a white one? A: White one starts like "once upon a time" Black one starts like " y'all muthaf*ckas gotta here dis"
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has 62.30 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: black people, life