Joke #6918

Somebody stole my mood ring and I'm not quite sure how I feel about that..
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: life

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TV commercials now show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.
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has 65.19 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: life
Two campers are hiking in the woods when one is bitten on the rear end by a rattlesnake. "I’ll go into town for a doctor," the other says. He runs ten miles to a small town and finds the town’s only doctor, who is delivering a baby. "I can’t leave," the doctor says. But here’s what to do. Take a knife, cut a little X where the bite is, suck out the poison and spit it on the ground." The guy ruins back to his friend, who is in agony. ‘What did the doctor say?" the victim asks. "He says you’re gonna die."
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has 70.02 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: life
The organizers of the concert complain to the conductor of a choir: You were supposed to bring a mixed choir, but I can see only men here. But it is a mixed choir – half of them know how to sing, and the other half- do not.
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has 46.20 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: life
How do you describe an angry potato? Boiling Mad.
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has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: food, life
Chuck Norris doesn't have a beard by choice, even the jaws of life can't cut it.
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has 40.39 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life
An ideal man doesn't drink, doesn't snore, doesn't watch football, doesn't argue and DOESNT'T EXIST.
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has 71.43 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: life
I'm trying to write a joke about overdosing on cocaine. But I need a line to end it.
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has 72.63 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: drug, life
Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."
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has 31.68 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death, food, life
The longer I stay at home, the more homeless I look.
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: life, time
A runaway man from prison that was sentenced for life, has stayed in for 25 years. While trying to find a place to hide, he enters a newlywed’s house, ties the man in a chair in a corner of the room and ties the woman in the bed. He climbs on the bed, on top of the woman and appears to be kissing her neck. Then he gets up and leaves the room. Immediately the husband drags his chair up to the bed and whispers to his wife: "My love, this man hasn’t seen a woman for many years. I saw him kissing your neck and rushing out. Just play nice with him and do as he asks you to. If he wants to have sex with you just agree and pretend that you like it. Whatever you do, don’t go against his will and upset him. Both our lives are at your hands right now, be strong and remember that I love you." As soon as the half naked woman recovers from the shock of what she just heard, she says: "Honey, I feel very relieved that you see it this way. You are right, this man has not seen a woman for years but he wasn’t kissing my neck. He was whispering to me. He said that he finds you very cute and asked me if we have Vaseline in the bathroom! Be strong and remember that I love you too!"
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has 68.50 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: life, marriage, prison, time