A man named Jed went hunting near the border of Alabama and Georgia.
When he was going back to his truck, a game warden came up to him and asked him what he had in the sack.
"Three rabbits," Jed said.
The warden said, "Let me see one of those rabbits."
So Jed pulled out one of the rabbits.
The warden stuck his finger in the rabbit's butthole, pulled it out, smelled it and said, "This is a Georgia rabbit."
Then the warden said, "Let me see your Georgia huntin' license."
So Jed showed him.
Then the warden said, "Let me see another one of those rabbits."
So Jed pulled out another rabbit.
Then the warden stuck his finger in the rabbit's bunghole, tasted it and said, "This is a Alamba rabbit. Let me see your Alamba huntin' license."
So Jed showed them to him. Then the Warden said, "Where you from boy?"
So Jed pulled his pants down and said, "You figure it out!"
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When do boys ask for a girl’s hand?
When they get bored by theirs!
A bloke walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar that reads, "Cheese sandwich: 0.99; Chicken sandwich: 1.50; H*ndjob: 20.00."
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, the man walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three hot waitresses.
"Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile.
"Can I help you?"
"I was wondering," whispers the man.
"Are you the one who gives the h*ndjobs?"
"Yes," she purrs.
"Indeed I am."
The man replies, "Well, go and wash your hands. I want a cheese sandwich!"
Hitler conquering another village while ww2 and he decided to give a chance for every woman in this village to save their families.
He made all men to stand naked one next to another in stright line and every woman have to find her husband by doing them bl*wjob.
First woman starts to suck and saying:
"Not mine, not mine, not mine, not mine, Mine!"
It's turn out that she was right so they could walk away free.
Second woman starts to suck:
"Not mine, not mine, not mine, not mine, not mine, MINE!"
True again so Hitler was deeply surprised and decided to stand in line between men of village.
Third woman starts to doing her job and saying:
"Not mine, not mine, not mine , not mine, not from this village, not mine...."
In funeral of my friend's wife, I went to condole him so I said: "Don't think she was your wife, she was for all".
Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
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After 20 years of marriage, a wife finds out that her husband had been f*cking her for the past 20 years with a dildo!
she is so angry she asks her husband to "Explain the dildo".
The husband replies "explain the kids?!"
“Doc, I think my son has VD,” a patient told his urologist on the phone, “The only woman he’s screwed is our maid.”
“Okay, don’t be hard on him. He’s just a kid,” the medic soothed, “Get him in here right away and I’ll take care of him.”
“But I’ve been screwing the maid too, and I’ve got the same symptoms he has.”
“Then you come in with him and I’ll fix you both up,” replied the doctor.
“Well,” the man admitted, “I think my wife has it too.”
“Oh crap!” the physician roared, “That means we’ve all got it!”
What is difference between woman and condom?
None :-)
Both of them spend more time in your wallet...than on your d*ck !
You see, masturbation is so unpredictable.
I just go up and down.
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