A man named Jed went hunting near the border of Alabama and Georgia. When he was going back to his truck, a game warden came up to him and asked him what he had in the sack. "Three rabbits," Jed said. The warden said, "Let me see one of those rabbits." So Jed pulled out one of the rabbits. The warden stuck his finger in the rabbit's butthole, pulled it out, smelled it and said, "This is a Georgia rabbit." Then the warden said, "Let me see your Georgia huntin' license." So Jed showed him. Then the warden said, "Let me see another one of those rabbits." So Jed pulled out another rabbit. Then the warden stuck his finger in the rabbit's bunghole, tasted it and said, "This is a Alamba rabbit. Let me see your Alamba huntin' license." So Jed showed them to him. Then the Warden said, "Where you from boy?" So Jed pulled his pants down and said, "You figure it out!"
A elderly retiree wobbled gingerly into an ice cream shoppe and carefully, slowly climbed up onto a counter stool. He wheezed for a minute, then ordered a chocolate sundae. “Crushed nuts?” asked the server. “No,” he answered. “Bad knees.”
Friend pisses me off so I poked holes in his condom the night before he uses it. Three months later... my mom's pregnant.
What is something nine out of ten people enjoy? Gang rape.
A guy walks into a sperm donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun. He goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the sperm bank vault. She says, "But sir, its just a sperm bank!" "I don't care, open it now!" he replies. So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the sperm samples. The guy says, "Take one of those sperm samples and drink it!" she looks at him, "BUT, they are sperm samples?" "DO IT!" So the nurse sucks it back. "That one there, drink that one as well," so the nurse drinks that one as well. Finally after 4 samples the man takes off his ski mask and says, "See honey its not that hard."
Q: Why doesn't Smokey the bear have any kids? A: Because every time his wife gets hot, he covers her with dirt and beats her with a shovel.
I like my women how I like my laptop. Sat on my lap, turned on & completely virus free.
Q: How do you cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? A: Tell them you can't cum.
Did you hear about the theft at the Viagra factory? The police are looking for some hardened criminals!
Q: Why can't scientists find a cure for AIDS? A: They can't get the laboratory mice to arse f*ck.
Q: Who did little Johnny see when he snuck into the church late one night? A: Pastor Bedtime.