Joke #917

"I shall call it squishy, and he will be mine. He will be my squishy." "Let go of my boob."
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has 52.05 % from 148 votes. More jokes about: dirty

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Virginity like bubble, one prick all gone.
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A man calls 911 emergency: " Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom!" After five minutes, the same man calls back: "It is ok, I found another one."
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Why do people say 'Grow some balls?' Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding.
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has 65.44 % from 117 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Ok, So superman was flying around on day after he had saved the world. "Man that was hard work, Now I need to relax and f*ck a b*tch." And so he went to the batcave. He walked over to batman and asked, "You know any hoes that just want to have s*x?" Batman looked and replied, "Well I heard superwomen wants to have s*x." Superman looked at him and shook his head,"Well superwomen wants to have s*x with EVERYONE." So intern he goes to robin, "Look robin I know your gay and all but do you know any hoes that want to f*ck." Robin replies, "Well I heard superwomens pretty good." Superman looks and says,"Well EVERYONE hears superwomen is good." Pissed superman flies off. While hes flying he passes over a field. He looks down and sees superwomen completly naked with her legs spread. Superman thinks to himself, "I can get in and out in faster than a speeding bullet." So he flies down gets in and gets out faster than a bullet. Back in the field superwomen looks around and says, "What the f*ck was that?" and invisible man says, "I don't know but my ass hurts."
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has 81.39 % from 331 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Two guys are in a bar. "Hey, I've got an idea -- let's play 'Twenty Questions!'" "'Twenty Questions?' How do you play?" "You ask me questions and try to guess what I'm thinking of." "Okay. But you have to write down what you're thinking of so I know you're not cheating." The man agrees, and writes down 'moosecock' on a small piece of paper. "Okay, I got a question. Does it taste good?" "Uhh...I guess so." "Is it moosecock?"
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has 63.55 % from 165 votes. More jokes about: bar, dirty
There are a hundred holes in the body of a woman; one of them would be filled with a penis and 99 others could be filled with money.
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has 47.94 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: dirty, mean, money, sex, women
Q: Why can women play hockey? A: Because they have to change their pads after every period.
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has 41.94 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sport, time, women
A doctor was having an affair with his nurse. Shortly afterward, she told him she was pregnant. Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the nurse a sum of money and asked her to go to Italy and have the baby there. "But how will I let you know the baby is born?" she asked. He replied, "Just send me a postcard and write 'spaghetti' on the back. I'll take care of expenses." Not knowing what else to do, the nurse took the money and flew to Italy. Six months went by and then one day the doctor's wife called him at the office and explained, "Dear, you received a very strange postcard in the mail today from Europe, and I don't understand what it means." The doctor said, "Just wait until I get home and I will explain it to you." Later that evening, the doctor came home, read the postcard, fell to the floor with a heart attack. Paramedics rushed him to the ER. The lead medic stayed back to comfort the wife. He asked what trauma had precipitated the cardiac arrest. So the wife picked up the card and read, "'Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti - Two with sausage and meatballs, two without.'"
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has 83.10 % from 585 votes. More jokes about: dirty, doctor, money, nurse, travel
What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese
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has 37.50 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: dirty, food, health
A crazy man jumps from the bushes and opens his coat in front of an old lady to surprise and terrify her. The granny takes a look at him and sais: "oh, dash, I´ve forgotten to buy the eggs."
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has 66.64 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: dirty, memory, old people