"I shall call it squishy, and he will be mine.
He will be my squishy."
"Let go of my boob."
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How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole?
Stick a javelin through it's head.
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A little boy about nine or ten, was siting on Santa's lap.
Santa pointed his finger in the boys face, and said, " George I know what you want for Christmas! A T-O-Y."
"Nope!" replied George.
Then again, pointing his finger in the boys face, "You want C-A-N-D-Y."
"Nope!" replied George.
"Then just what the hell do you want," ask Santa.
George looked Santa in the face, pointing his finger, "I want some P-U-S-S-Y! And don't tell me that you don't have any. Because I can smell it on your finger!"
Based on statistics, the most used s*xual position among married couples is doggy style...
The husband sits and begs, while the wife rolls over and plays dead.
Want to make a porno?
We don't have to tape it.
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?
A: Clothes.
In school, we had to do a skit demonstrating key concepts of the English language.
My skit on the "diphthong" clearly demonstrated that the string micro-bikini was not a wise choice.
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Q: How big are the pastro's beds?
A: Oh c'mon, it knows every little kid.
Q: "What is the difference between like and love?"
A: "Spit and swallow."
Q: What animal has the most kids.
A: A sperm whale.
Mom was very upset when she found a bondage S&M magazine in her son's room.
She showed it to her husband when he got home.
He handed it back to her without a word.
She asked him, "Well, what do we do about this?"
"Well, whatever you do, don't spank him."
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