"I shall call it squishy, and he will be mine.
He will be my squishy."
"Let go of my boob."
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A man was fishing and he caught a crocodile.
The crocodile told him, "Please let me go.
I'll grant you any wish you desire."
The man said, "Okay.
I wish my balls could touch the ground."
So the crocodile bit his legs off.
A blonde pick ups her dress from the dry cleaners, when she leaves the Cashier says,
"Come again!"
Bonde said, "Nah..It was ketchup this time."
Getting married is like buying a dishwasher.
You'll never have to do it by hand again.
Vote:
Two gays were at a dance.
As they were jigging about the floor with each other.
Two massive guys entered the hall 6 foot 6 20 stone and full of muscle One gay asked his mate "Is that the bouncers that have just come in?"
"No" grinned the other,"That's the raffle."
Sex is like math:
Add the bed
Subtract the clothes
Divide the legs and pray you dont multiply
There once was a farmer who was raising 3 daughters on his own.
He was very concerned about their well being and always did his best to watch out for them.
As they entered their late teens the girls dated, and on this particular evening all three of his girls were going out on a date.
This was the first time this had occurred.
As was his custom, he would greet the young suitor at the door holding his shotgun, not to menace or threaten but merely to ensure that the young man knew who was boss.
The doorbell rang and the first of the boys arrived.
Father answered the door and the lad said, "Hi, my name's Joe, I'm here for Flo.
We're going to the show, is she ready to go?"
The father looked him over and sent the kids on their way.
The next lad arrived and said, "My name's Eddie, I'm here for Betty, we're gonna get some spaghetti, is she ready?"
Father felt this one was okay too, so off the two kids went.
The final young man arrived and the farmer opened the door.
The boy started off, "Hi, my name's Chuck… --" and the farmer shot him.
Q: Why do walruses love a tupperware party?
A: They're always on the lookout for a tight seal.
What did the two tampons say to eachother?
Nothing , because they were both stuck up bitches.