"I shall call it squishy, and he will be mine.
He will be my squishy."
"Let go of my boob."
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Q: What's the difference between basketball and sex?
A: In basketball you dribble before you shoot!
Q: What's a horny pirate's worst nightmare?
A: A sunken chest with no booty!
Q: Ever had sex while camping?
A: It's fucking intents.
A quiet man, is a thinking man. A quiet woman, is usually mad.
A black third grader goes to his mom and asks, '"Mom, I have the biggest dick in the third grade. Is that because I'm black?"
And she responds, "No nigga, it's because you're nineteen!"
Mom: If a boy touches your boobs say "don't" and if he touches your pussy say "stop"?
Girl: But mom, he touched both so I said "don’t stop"
A little boy came home from school and his homework assignment was to find out what the difference was between hypothetically and realistically,so he asked his dad.
His dad said, "Well, go ask your mom if she would sleep with the mail man for $1,000,000."
He went and asked and came back and said, "She said yes".
"Well", said the dad, "Go ask your sister the same question."
He did and came back and said, "She said yes."
And the dad said, "Now go ask your brother the same thing."
He did and came back and said, "He said yes too!"
And the dad said, "Well hypothetically we're sitting on three million dollars, realistically we're living with 2 whores and a fag!"
A guy goes into a drug store to buy condoms.
The girl behind the counter says, “What size?”
He says, “I don’t know.”
She hold up a finger and says, “That big?”
He says, “Bigger.”
She holds up three fingers and says, “That big?”
He says, “Smaller?”
She holds up two fingers and he says, “That’s it.”
She puts the two fingers in her mouth and says, “Medium.”
Boy: My magic watch says that you don't have any underwear on.
Girl: Well its wrong...
Boy: Guess my watch is 15 minutes fast