"I shall call it squishy, and he will be mine.
He will be my squishy."
"Let go of my boob."
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Knock Knock.
Who's There?
Justin.
Justin who?
Your justin time to wipe my ass!
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"Mom, where do tampons go?"
"Where the babies come from, darling."
"In a stork?
Yo mama so fat, when your dad tried eating your mom's pussy his head stuck in.
After a long day of winter sporting, we headed back to the ski lodge.
As it was small, a cramped place to stay, we decided it was most fitting to sleep in the same bed.
Myself in the middle and my two friends either side of me.
In the middle of the night, the guy on the right woke up and said, "I have had a dream where I was given the best handjob ever!"
A few minutes later, the guy on my left woke up and said: "I have had a dream that I was given the best handjob ever!"
I replied, "well that's funny... I thought I was skiing."
A man asks a guy if he likes fishdicks, the stupid guy answers like this because he thinks that he said fishsticks so he says,
"Yes, I Love them."
Then the man asks him again and says "Do you like having them in your mouth?"
Then the stupid Guy answears like this "Yes I like them in my mouth says the stupid guy confused"
Then the man says "What are you, a gayfish?"
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Q: How can you spot the blind guy in a nudist colony?
A: It's not hard.
I'm an astronaut and my next mission is to explore Uranus.
A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?"
As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks, "Do you want a widdle white wabby or a thoft and fuwwy back wabby or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabby over there?"
She, in turn blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice, "I don't fink my pet python weally gives a thit.
Q: Why can women play hockey?
A: Because they have to change their pads after every period.