Joke #6993

A woman walks into a restaurant and sits down. As she bends down to reach into her purse for her wallet, she farts loudly with the waiter right behind her. She sits abruptly back up, glares at the waiter and shouts “Stop that!” To which the waiter replies, “Sure, which way did it go?”
Vote:
has 58.77 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: disgusting

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Him: "I'm going to come and see you, I don't care about the gas prices or anything I'm coming to no matter what." Her: "Aw okay, I'm going to get ready." Him: "I love you, I can't wait to see you, I'm getting ready to leave." Her: "Okay honey, I'm on my period, just letting you know." Him: "My car just blew up, I can't come see you." Her: "Get your friend to bring you, he always does." Him: "He got shot I can't come, sorry." Her: "Never mind I'm not on my period, my panties are just red." Him: "My boy said he is okay, he's going to take me, I'm going." Her: "I'm really on my period." Him: "Damn! He got shot again..."
Vote:
has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: communication, disgusting, friendship, love, relationship
A blonde buys a used sports car. However, during the first joy ride, the engine jerks and the car slows to a stop. The blonde calls a tow truck. The mechanic sets to work, and 10 minutes later, the car is running again. "What was the matter?" she asks. "Simple really, just sh*t in the carburetor" he replies. Taken aback she asks, "Oh, how many times a week do I have to put that in?"
Vote:
has 45.10 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, disgusting, mechanic
A man joins the navy and is shipped out immediately to an aircraft carrier in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. The captain is showing the new recruit around the ship, when the recruit asks the captain what the sailors do to satisfy their urges when they're at sea for so long. "Let me show you," says the captain. He takes the recruit down to the rear of the ship where there's a solitary barrel with a hole in it. "This'll be the best sex you'll ever have. Go ahead and try it, and I'll give you some privacy." The recruit doesn't quite believe it, but he decides to try it anyway. After he finishes up, the captain returns. "Wow! That was the best sex I've ever had! I want to do it every day!" "Fine. You can do it every day except for Thursday." "Why not Thursday?" "That's your day in the barrel."
Vote:
has 80.07 % from 462 votes. More jokes about: air force, dirty, disgusting, navy, sex
Two monsters went to a Halloween party. Suddenly one said to the other, "A lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?" The other monster replied, "Be a gentleman and roll them back to her."
Vote:
has 73.43 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, flirt, Halloween, party
A ship with 30 sailors and one woman strands on a desert island. After one month the woman says: "I can not proceed in this way." And she suicides herself. After another month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they bury the woman. The next month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they dig up the woman.
Vote:
has 18.59 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, desert island, disgusting, navy
Q: What's the similarity between a woman and dog poop? A: The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
Vote:
has 62.88 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: age, disgusting, women
When I reached bus stop I saw a pretty blonde who was gazing me. First I supposed perhaps she loves me so I also watched her and twinkled her. Then I understood she has farted and is looking me in order whether I would feel or not.
Vote:
has 69.96 % from 169 votes. More jokes about: beauty, blonde, disgusting, fart, love
A family brings their elderly mother to a nursing home. The nurses bathe her and set her in a chair at a window. After a while, she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately straighten her up. Again, she starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back to put her upright. This goes on all morning. Later, the family arrives and asks, "Are they treating you all right?" "It's pretty nice," the old woman replies. "Except they won't let you fart."
Vote:
has 64.76 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, family, fart, nurse, old people
Yo mama is so stinky that she scared the fly's off the shit wagonrn.
Vote:
has 52.49 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, insulting, Yo mama
What is the definition of revenge? A baby with a dog in its mouth.
Vote:
has 17.83 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, disgusting, dog