I don't like the term "anal bleaching".
I prefer "changing your ringtone."
Vote:
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
After a recent football game, the team went into the locker room to get out of their uniforms and to shower.
In the showers, Bubba noticed that Duke has a cork shoved up his butt-hole.
So, Bubba asked, "Duke, why in the world do you have a cork up your butt?"
Duke answered, "Last night when I was cleaning my antique brass lamps, a genie came out of one of them. The genie said that I had one wish. I was really startled and I replied, "No shit!"
Vote:
Little Johnny: "I've piss may I go out?"
Teacher : "Piss is an impolite word instead you say I've number 1."
Jimmy: "May I go out? I want to shit."
Teacher: "Shit is also a bad word it is better to use number 2 instead."
Ronald: "There is a wind in my belly give me please a number for it."
Vote:
Him: "I'm going to come and see you, I don't care about the gas prices or anything I'm coming to no matter what."
Her: "Aw okay, I'm going to get ready."
Him: "I love you, I can't wait to see you, I'm getting ready to leave."
Her: "Okay honey, I'm on my period, just letting you know."
Him: "My car just blew up, I can't come see you."
Her: "Get your friend to bring you, he always does."
Him: "He got shot I can't come, sorry."
Her: "Never mind I'm not on my period, my panties are just red."
Him: "My boy said he is okay, he's going to take me, I'm going."
Her: "I'm really on my period."
Him: "Damn! He got shot again..."
Vote:
Joke has 56.36 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: communication, disgusting, friendship, love, relationship
The fingers of my girlfriend were in my pants;
I asked her "Is it thick?"
She said "yes dear."
Again I asked: "Is it warm?"
She replied: "yes honey."
Then I asked: "Is it soft?"
She said, "yes of course."
"It is my shit!" I told her.
Vote:
Joke has 53.73 % from 170 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, disgusting, relationship, sex
Friend 1: "I like my women how I like my milk."
Friend 2: "What? White?"
Friend 1: "No, expired."
Vote:
Joke has 52.63 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: communication, disgusting, friendship, white people, wife
Little Johnny walks into his parent's room one night to find them having sex.
"Mom? What are you doing?" he asks his mom.
"Making a cake" his mom replies.
Later that week, Little Johnny walks asks his mom in the car "Were you and daddy making a cake on the couch" he asks.
"Yeah. Why?" his mom asks, confused and worried.
"Because I licked the icing off the couch! It was delicious!" he responded.
Vote:
Joke has 47.76 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, disgusting, little Johnny, sex
A lady goes to the doctor, and says:
"Doc, I have this smell about me that I can't get rid of no matter what I do. Can you help me?"
The doctor says, "yeah I can help you but I'll have to examine you. You'll have to take all your clothes off first."
So the lady takes her clothes off.
Right away the doctor says, "hold on, I'll be right back."
A couple minutes later he comes back with an 8-foot stick that has a little hook on the end of it.
The lady says, "oh doctor, what str going to do with that?"
And the doctor says, as he's going through the movements of opening a high window, "well I'm going to open the window, it smells like shit in here."
Vote:
Joke has 44.74 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: communication, disgusting, doctor, insulting, women
Q: Do you know how Chinese people name their children?
A: They throw some pans and based on the noises they make like "ting tang," "Dung dung", "Ting tang dung"
Vote:
Q: Why do men snore when they lie on their backs?
A: Because when their balls fall over their a**holes, they vapor-lock.
Vote:
A college Professor, an avowed Atheist, was teaching his class.
He shocked several of his students when he flatly stated he was going to prove there is no God.
Addressing the ceiling he shouted: "God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you 15 minutes!"
The lecture room fell silent.
You could have heard a pin drop.
Ten minutes went by.
Again the Professor taunted God, saying, "Here I am, God! I'm still waiting!"
His count-down got down to the last couple of minutes when a Marine, just released from active duty and newly registered in the class, walked up to the Professor and punched him full-force in the face.
The Professor tumbled from his lofty platform, and he was out cold before he hit the floor.
At first the students were shocked, and they babbled in confusion.
The young Marine took a seat in the front row and sat silently.
The class fell silent... waiting.
Eventually, the Professor came to.
When he finally regained the power of speech, he glared at the young Marine in the front row.
"What's the matter with you? Why on earth did you do that?"
The Marine smiled. "God was busy. He sent me."
Vote: