Did you hear about the midget that went into the whorehouse? He got a twat in the face.
Q: Why does a dog lick himself? A: He can't make a fist.
What is more disgusting than a pile of 100 dead babies? One live one in the middle is eating its way out.
What do you call an incestuous nephew? An aunt-eater.
Why can't girls play hockey? Because their pads can't last three periods.
Q: What compliment do you NOT want from a midget? A: Wow! Your hair smells good!
What is the difference between a fridge and a kid? A fridge doesn't shout when you put your meat inside it.
A girl was a prostitute, but she did not want her grandma to know. One day the police raided a whole group of prostitutes at a sex party in a hotel and she was among them. The police took them outside and had all the prostitutes line up along the driveway. Suddenly the girl's grandma came by and saw her. "Why are you standing in line, dear?" she asked. Not willing to let her grandma know the truth, the girl told her that the policemen were passing out free oranges. "Why, that is awfully nice of them! I think I'll get some for myself," said the grandma. A policeman went down the line, asking for information from all of the prostitutes. When he got to Grandma, he exclaimed, "Wow, still going at it at your age? How do you do it?" Grandma replied, "Oh, it's easy, dear. I just take out my dentures and suck them dry!"
Do you know what would be sick? If you sat in Santa's lap and you felt him get a boner. Do you know what would be even worse? If he stood up and you were still sitting in his lap.
Q: What is better than winning a medal at the Para-olympics? A: Having two legs.
Why does the witch not wear panties when flying? Because she wants to get a better grip on the broom.