Joke #7098

Did you hear about the midget that went into the whorehouse? He got a twat in the face.
Vote: has 50.45 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

I dont understand why people say sex is good in the shower. How do you guys not get your laptop wet?
Vote: has 61.43 % from 72 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: computer, disgusting, sex
A man walks into a bar one day and asks the bartender if he knows a man named Two Guns Gonzales. The bartender says no but he tells him that the man in the back named No Guns knows him. So the guy walks to the back of the bar and asks the man if he knows a guy named Two Guns Gonzales. The man says, "Let me tell you a story... One day about a week ago, I was riding into town on my horse and this large man with two guns comes riding up to me and says, "Get off your horse." Well, Two Guns has two guns and No Guns has no guns, what could I do? I get off my horse. Then he says, "Now drop your pants." Well, Two Guns has two guns and No Guns has no guns, what could I do? I take off my pants. Then he says, "Now s**t." Well Two Guns has two guns and No Guns has no guns, what could I do? I s**t. Then he says, "Now eat it." Well Two Guns has two guns and No Guns has no guns, what could I do? I eat it. Now, Two Guns is laughing so hard, he drops his guns! I grab them! Now I say, "Drop your pants." Well Two Guns has no guns and No Guns has two guns, what could he do? He drops his pants. Then I say, "Now s**t." Well Two Guns has no guns and No Guns has two guns, what could he do? He s**ts. Then I say, "Now eat it." Well Two Guns has no guns and No Guns has two guns, what could he do? He eats it. So when you ask me if I know a man named Two Guns Gonzales, the answer is yes: I had lunch with him last week."
Vote: has 62.19 % from 46 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, bar, bartender, disgusting
On the last day of kindergarten, all the children brought presents for their teacher. The florist's son handed the teacher a gift. She shook it, held it up and said, "I bet I know what it is - it's some flowers!" "That's right!" shouted the little boy. Then the candy store owner's daughter handed the teacher a gift. She held it up, shook it and said. "I bet I know what it is - it's a box of candy!" "That's right!" shouted the little girl. The next gift was from the liquor store owner's son, Little Johnny. The teacher held it up and saw that it was leaking. She touched a drop with her finger and tasted it. "Is it wine?" she asked. "No," Little Johnny answered. The teacher touched another drop to her tongue. "Is it champagne?" she asked. "No," he answered. Finally, the teacher said, "I give up. What is it?" Little Johnny replied, "A puppy!"
Vote: has 79.59 % from 355 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, dog, little Johnny, teacher, wine
Q: How do you get a zombie baby into a bowl? A: A blender. Q: How do you get them out? A: Doritos.
Vote: has 47.37 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, disgusting
What's the difference between a dead baby and a table? You can't fuck a table.
Vote: has 35.21 % from 67 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, dirty, disgusting, sex
Q: How do you know you're in a vampire bar? A: There's a string hanging out of your Bloody Mary.
Vote: has 50.45 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bar, disgusting
I've accepted every email offer I've ever received. My penis is now 235 feet long.
Vote: has 57.49 % from 78 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, sex
Why did God give women legs? So they don't leave a trail like a slug.
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting
Q. What do you call two lesbians with their period? A. Finger painting.
Vote: has 35.60 % from 109 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, lesbian, sex
A man goes into a psychiatric hospital to visit one of his buddies. As he is walking out he notices a guy pretending to be swinging a hockey stick. Curious, he asks: "What are you doing?" The guy replies: "I'm Wayne Gretzky, and I'm practicing my shot." Satisfied with the answer the visitor moves on down the hall. He notices another guy pretending to be playing golf. Curious, he asks: "What are you doing?" The guy replies: "I'm Tiger woods and I'm practicing my golf." Satisfied with this response the visitor again moves on down the hall. He then sees another guy sitting in a chair in the nude with a jar of peanuts beside him. This guy takes a peanut, places it on his dick, waits a minute, then flicks into his mouth. Again, curious he asks: "What are you doing?" The guy replies: "I'M FUCKING NUTS!"
Vote: has 43.61 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting