Joke #7098

Did you hear about the midget that went into the whorehouse? He got a twat in the face.

A man took a poop in a gas station and then realized there was no toilet paper. There was a hole in the wall and a sign above it that read: "When you go to the bathroom, wipe yourself with your index finger, stick it through this hole and it will be thoroughly cleaned." The man did exactly what the sign said, but when he stuck his finger through the hole, someone at the other side slapped two bricks together against his finger and because of the pain he stuck his finger in his mouth and started to suck on it.

One day, a man was fishing on a dock across from a hotel in the country, when another man came and sat down. By way of conversation, the man asked the other what he was doing there. "I'm on a honeymoon." "Oh. Shouldn't you be having sex with your wife?" "Well, I would be. But she has a yeast infection." "What about oral sex?" "Gingivitis." "Anal sex?" "Diarrhea." "Pardon my question, but why are you with her?" "Well, I like fishing. And she's got worms."

Q: How does a redneck tell the difference between a bull and a cow in the dark? A: He sticks his nose in the animal's ass. If there's a place for his tongue, it's a cow.

Did you hear about the man who took Viagra and a laxative at the same time? He didn't know if he was coming or going.

Q: What's the hardest thing about a sex change from a man to a woman? A: Inserting the anchovies

Q: What do you get when you mix cigarettes with hot water? A: A soggy butt.

This is a visual joke. Blow some cigarette smoke into a shoe, what do you have? A palestinian waiting for the bus.

Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats. Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.

Q: Why do men fart louder than women? A: because they have a microphone and two speakers.

Did you hear about the 120-pound guy with the 30-pound testicles? People say he was half-nuts!