Joke #7290

The Karate Kid killed caught a fly with two chopsticks, Chuck Norris killed a rhino with one.
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death, sport

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One day little Johnny was digging a hole in his back yard. The next-door neighbor spotted him and decided to investigate. "Hello Johnny, what are you up to?" he asked. "My goldfish died and I'm gonna bury him," Johnny replied. "That's a really big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?" asked the neighbor. "That's because he's inside your cat!"
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has 85.78 % from 1172 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, little Johnny
Two old men, Abe and Sol, sit on a park bench feeding pigeons and talking about baseball. Abe turns to Sol and asks, "Do you think there's baseball in Heaven?" Sol thinks about it for a minute and replies, "I dunno. But let's make a deal -- if I die first, I'll come back and tell you if there's baseball in Heaven, and if you die first, you do the same." They shake on it and sadly, a few months later, poor Abe passes on. Soon afterward, Sol sits in the park feeding the pigeons by himself and hears a voice whisper, "Sol... Sol... ." Sol responds, "Abe! Is that you?" "Yes it is, Sol," whispers Abe's ghost. Sol, still amazed, asks, "So, is there baseball in Heaven?" "Well," says Abe, "I've got good news and bad news." "Gimme the good news first," says Sol. Abe says, "Well, there is baseball in Heaven." Sol says, "That's great! What news could be bad enough to ruin that?" Abe sighs and whispers, "You're pitching on Friday."
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has 85.44 % from 516 votes. More jokes about: animal, black humor, heaven, sport
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
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has 85.37 % from 1924 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
An elderly couple was just settled down for bed when the old man realized he left the lights on in the greenhouse in the back yard. Then they heard voices. Three men had broken into the greenhouse. Scared, they called the police. The dispatcher replied, he would send an officer as soon as one became available as they were all out on calls. The old man waited for a few minutes and called Dispatch again. He told Dispatch, "Don't worry about sending an officer, I shot the robbers and now the dogs are eating their bodies!" In no time at all, police were all over the place and captured the robbers red-handed! One of the cops asked the old man, "I thought you said you shot the robber and your dogs were eating them. " The old man replied, "I thought you said, there weren't any officers available."
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has 85.26 % from 811 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop, death, time
Chuck norris went skydiving and his parachute failed to open, so he took it back the next day for a refund
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has 85.02 % from 1934 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, sport
Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris. After 5 days of extreme pain... the snake died.
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has 84.97 % from 745 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death, time
Chuck Norris won the Boston marathon in New York.
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has 84.80 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, sport
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.
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has 84.77 % from 1509 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
A man brings his cat to a veterinarian. He lives the cat there and returns in two days, as preagreed. He asks the veterinarian: Is my cat still alive? Still not...
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has 84.57 % from 3205 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, death
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
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has 84.53 % from 457 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris