A very fat woman comes into a store and tells the clerk,
"I would like to see a bikini that fits me."
Clerk, "me too..."
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If the Earth turned 30 times faster, we would get salary every day, but women would bleed to death...
What do mopeds and fat ladies have in common?
They're both a great ride until someone sees you on one.
Is Lady Gaga wonder woman because we all wonder if she's a woman?
An angry wife was complaining about her husband spending all his free time in a bar, so one night he took her along with him.
"What'll you have?" he asked.
"Oh, I don't know.
The same as you I suppose," she replied.
So, the husband ordered a couple of Jack Daniel's and threw his down in one shot.
His wife watched him, then took a sip from her glass and immediately spat it out.
"Yuck, that's TERRIBLE!" she spluttered.
"I don't know how you can drink this stuff!"
"Well, there you go," cried the husband.
"And you think I'm out enjoying myself every night!"
How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
11 - 10 to form a committee and 1 to get her boyfriend to do it...
A chubbier woman: "Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?"
Mirror: "Kindly move aside. I can't see anything."
Q: Why dont black women wear panties to picknics?
A: To keep the flies off the chicken
Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.
Girls are like an internet virus:
they enter your life, scan your pockets, transfer money, edit your mind, download their problems and delete your smile...
A man has 6 items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap and a towel from the Holiday Inn.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 437.
A man would not be able to identify most of these items.