Joke #7369

Seven days on a honeymoon make one hole weak.
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has 73.64 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: holiday, women

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A paralegal, an associate, and a partner of a prestigious law firm are walking through a city park and they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a puff of smoke. The Genie says, "I usually only grant three wishes, so I'll give each of you one." "Me first!" says the paralegal. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat with Tom Cruise." Poof! She's gone. "Me next!" says the associate. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with a professional hula dancer on one side and a Mai Tai on the other." Poof! He's gone. "You're next," the Genie says to the partner. The partner says: "I want those two back in the office after lunch."
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has 78.47 % from 171 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, genie, holiday, lawyer, women
Husband: "Right now, for this Women's Day, I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world!" Wife: "Oh dear, I will miss you!"
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has 78.02 % from 99 votes. More jokes about: holiday, marriage, mean, women
A man is staying in a hotel. He walks up to the front desk and says, "Sorry ma'am, I forgot what room I'm in, can you help me?" The receptionist replies, "No problem, sir. This is the lobby."
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has 78.85 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: holiday
A man came home from the bar with an unknown woman. He woke up in the morning and yelled, "A crocodile, a crocodile!" The woman woke up and asked, "Where, where?" A man cried again, "O-o-oh, the crocodile is talking!"
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has 45.29 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, women
A woman walks into a supermarket and buys: 1 bar of soap 1 toothbrush 1 tube of toothpaste 1 loaf of bread 1 pint of milk 1 single serving of cereal 1 single serving frozen dinner 1 can of Soup For One 1 16oz can of Miller Lite The guy at the checkout looks at her and says, "Single, are you?" The woman smiles sweetly and replies, "How did you guess?" He replies, “Because you’re ugly.”
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has 51.39 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: food, women
A retired gentlemen went into the social security office to apply for Social Security. After waiting in line a long time, he got to the counter. The woman behind the counter asked him for his drivers license to verify his age. He looked in his pockets and realized he had left his wallet at home. He told the woman that he was very sorry but he seemed to have left his wallet at home. “Will I have to go home and come back now?” he asks. The woman says, “Unbutton your shirt.” So he opens his shirt revealing lost of curly silver hair. She says, “That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me.” and she processes his Social Security application. When he gets home, the man excitedly tells his wife about his experience at the Social Security office. She said, “You should have dropped your pants, you might have qualified for disability, too.”
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has 78.64 % from 183 votes. More jokes about: old people, wife, women
A couple returns from their honeymoon refusing to speak to each other. The groom's best friend takes him aside and asks what's wrong. "Well," replies the man, "when we finished making love on the first night, I put a $50 bill on the pillow without thinking." "Oh, you shouldn't worry about that too much," says his friend. "I'm sure your wife will get over it soon enough. She can't expect you to have been saving yourself all these years." "That's not the problem, " the groom says. "She gave me $20 change!"
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has 80.57 % from 379 votes. More jokes about: couple, holiday, love, marriage, money
How do you know when you honeymoon is over? When he no longer smiles as he scrapes the burnt toast.
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has 66.82 % from 192 votes. More jokes about: holiday, marriage
Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds? Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.
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has 50.64 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: men, stupid, women
If pretty women from the south are southern bells, would that make pretty women from Mexico taco bells?
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has 66.32 % from 163 votes. More jokes about: beauty, mexican, racist, women