Joke #7369

Seven days on a honeymoon make one hole weak.
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has 73.48 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: holiday, women

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Husband: "Right now, for this Women's Day, I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world!" Wife: "Oh dear, I will miss you!"
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has 79.05 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: holiday, marriage, mean, women
A paralegal, an associate, and a partner of a prestigious law firm are walking through a city park and they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a puff of smoke. The Genie says, "I usually only grant three wishes, so I'll give each of you one." "Me first!" says the paralegal. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat with Tom Cruise." Poof! She's gone. "Me next!" says the associate. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with a professional hula dancer on one side and a Mai Tai on the other." Poof! He's gone. "You're next," the Genie says to the partner. The partner says: "I want those two back in the office after lunch."
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has 77.47 % from 153 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, genie, holiday, lawyer, women
An Indian soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass. The CO says "Are you crazy? You just join the Indian army, and you already want a 3-day pass? You must do something spectacular for that recognition!" So the soldier comes back a day later in a Pakistani tank! The CO was so impressed, he asked "How did you do it?" "Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the Border. As I saw a Pakistani tank. I put my white flag up, the Pakistani tank put his white flag up. I said to the Pakistani soldier, "Do you want to get a three-day pass? So we exchanged tanks!"
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has 4.41 % from 725 votes. More jokes about: holiday, military, time
I will be unable to delete all the emails you send me until I return from vacation. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
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has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: holiday, mean, office, technology, work
A newlywed couple on their honeymoon prepares to see each other naked for the first time. The husband exposes his knotted and twisted feet. He explains, "I had tolio as a child." The wife asks if he means polio. He says, "No, it only affects the toes." He removes his pants and reveals deformed knees. He admits, "I had kneesles, too." Finally, he pulls off his boxers. In shock, the woman gasps, "Oh no...smallcox, too!"
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has 54.60 % from 97 votes. More jokes about: couple, holiday, husband, marriage
Kamasutra says: If you suck one nipple, the women herself offers the other one. And that was the origin of "buy one get one free"!
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has 72.07 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: business, dirty, money, sex, women
A man went with his wife on honeymoon and they were getting undressed together for the first time. The man took off his shoes and socks and his toes were all twisted and discolored. "What happened to your feet?" his wife asked. "I had a childhood disease called Tolio." "Don't you mean polio?" "No, tolio, it only affects the toes." Men then removed his pants and revealed an awful-looking pair of knees. "What happened to your knees?" she asked. "Well, I also had Kneesles." "Don't you mean measles?" "No, kneesles, it only affects the knees." When he removed his shorts, his wife gasped and said, "Don't tell me, you also had Smallcox!"
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has 61.37 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: health, holiday, marriage, wife
"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper." "What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!" "I know all that." "Then why did you invite a friend for supper?" "Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."
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has 84.87 % from 460 votes. More jokes about: husband, marriage, wife, women
Look up "rib" in the dictionary and it says "To vex, irritate or annoy." Look up "rib" in the Bible and it says "Woman." Coincidence?
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has 82.10 % from 89 votes. More jokes about: bible, communication, women
This stupid bug is appearing on a blasted line which would blow up the toilet. Then they go like "Tom tom tom tom" then back to the toilet and stupidly disgusted by a recently married woman and erecting a man in a toilet.
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has 13.74 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting, masturbation, men, women