Chuck Norris goes to the Bermuda Triangle for vacation.
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While vacationing in France, Chuck Norris went out for a casual bike ride and accidentally won the Tour de France.
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July 4th is Independence day.
And the day Chuck Norris was born.
Coincidence? I think not.
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When Superman wants vacation time it has to be approved by Chuck Norris.
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A young couple were on their honeymoon.
The husband was sitting in the bathroom on the edge of the bathtub saying to himself, "Now how can I tell my wife that I've got really smelly feet and that my socks absolutely stink?
I've managed to keep it from her while we were dating, but she's bound to find out sooner or later that my feet stink.
Now how do I tell her?"
Meanwhile, the wife was sitting in the bed saying to herself, "Now how do I tell my husband that I've got really bad breath?
I've been very lucky to keep it from him while we were courting, but as soon as he's lived with me for a week, he's bound to find out. Now how do I tell him gently?"
The husband finally plucks up enough courage to tell his wife and so he walks into the bedroom.
He walks over to the bed, climbs over to his wife, puts his arm around her neck, moves his face very close to hers and says, "Darling, I've a confession to make."
And she says, "So have I, honey."
To which he replies, "Don't tell me, you've eaten my socks."
Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies.
He potato-sacks them.
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Superman is weakened when exposed to Kryptonite.
Chuck Norris eats Kryptonite for breakfast without even a belch.
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What's a moo hoo for a cow barn on a holiday?
A merry dairy.
Postcard from a blonde:
Having a wonderful time.
Where am I?
Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
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Chuck Norris can actually describe the taste of purified water.
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