Chuck Norris's tombstone will say, "He's finally taking a nap, do not wake."
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
A funeral service is held for a woman who just passed away. As the pallbearers carry the casket out, they accidentally bump into a wall. They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive. She lives for 10 more years and then dies. They have another funeral for her. At the end of the service, the pallbearers carry out the casket. As they are walking, the husband cries out, "Watch out for the wall!"
A Dublin lawyer died in poverty and many barristers of the city donated to a fund for his funeral. The Lord Chief Justice of Orbury was asked to donate a shilling. "A shilling?" said the Justice, "It only takes shilling to bury an attorney? Here's a guinea; go bury 20 of `em!"
The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN-. These are also Chuck Norris' initials. This is not a coincidence.
Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris. After 5 days of extreme pain... the snake died.
You might kill two birds with one stone, but Chuck Norris kills two stones with one bird.
Chuck Norris was once shot. The bullet died.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself
Chuck Norris is the meaning of life. Too bad he's also the meaning of death.