Joke #8054

Q: Why do men snore when they lie on their backs? A: Because when their balls fall over their a**holes, they vapor-lock.
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has 53.18 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: disgusting

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This desperate guy named Jim goes to the whorehouse with 5$. He buys a the cheapest prostitute named Sandpaper Sally. As they start to have sex, Jim screams, "Ouch! Now I know why they call you Sandpaper Sally!" Sally scoots out of the room. Five minutes later she came back and Jim attempts sex once again. "What the hell happened?" asks Jim, "This is the best sex I''ve ever had!" Sally replies, "Oh, I just picked my scabs."
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has 48.79 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, money, sex
Q: How do you know when it's bedtime at Michael Jackson's house? A: The big hand touches the little one.
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, sport
An Ohio State University mortician student walked into the embalming room where a cadaver was lying on the table. Confident that he knew enough now to begin the procedure without his instructor, he began to examine the body. When he rolled it over, he was shocked to see a cork in the man's butt. Mystified, he pulled it out and immediately heard the University of Michigan fight song come out of the guy's butt. Shaken by what had happened, he quickly shoved the cork back into it's original resting place. He then ran to get his instructor, nervously shouting, "Sir, you must come, you won't believe what I discovered!" Annoyed by the interruption, the professor said, "Let's take a look at this astounding discovery." When they entered the morgue, the teacher was also surprised to see the cork, so he approached the table and promptly removed the cork. Upon hearing the University of Michigan fight song, he quickly replaced the cork in the cadaver's butt and said, "What's so surprising about that? I've heard thousands of assholes sing that song!"
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has 73.12 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, music, school, student
What is the difference between a fridge and a kid? A fridge doesn't shout when you put your meat inside it.
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has 33.38 % from 89 votes. More jokes about: black humor, disgusting, kids
Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats. Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.
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has 44.54 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, disgusting, morbid, music
Q: Why did Captain Kirk piss on the roof of the Enterprise? A: To boldly go where no man has gone before.
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, disgusting
Michael: "What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween?" Matthew: "I don't know. What?" Michael: "Candy corneas."
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has 57.40 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: black humor, disgusting, doctor, Halloween, morbid
Q: What do you call the sweat on your balls after having sex with your cousin? A: Relative humidity.
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has 48.69 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, sex
On the last day of kindergarten, all the children brought presents for their teacher. The florist's son handed the teacher a gift. She shook it, held it up and said, "I bet I know what it is - it's some flowers!" "That's right!" shouted the little boy. Then the candy store owner's daughter handed the teacher a gift. She held it up, shook it and said. "I bet I know what it is - it's a box of candy!" "That's right!" shouted the little girl. The next gift was from the liquor store owner's son, Little Johnny. The teacher held it up and saw that it was leaking. She touched a drop with her finger and tasted it. "Is it wine?" she asked. "No," Little Johnny answered. The teacher touched another drop to her tongue. "Is it champagne?" she asked. "No," he answered. Finally, the teacher said, "I give up. What is it?" Little Johnny replied, "A puppy!"
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has 81.21 % from 554 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, dog, little Johnny, teacher, wine
Q: What compliment do you NOT want from a midget? A: Wow! Your hair smells good!
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: disgusting