Joke #8057

Q: What happens when you give Viagra to lawyers? A: They grow taller!
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has 71.63 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: insulting, lawyer, mean, viagra

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A lawyer and the pope were both killed in an accident. The two were in line to see St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter asked the lawyer his name and looked it up in his book. He then asked the Pope for his name and looked it up in his book also. "Now, if you will come with me, I will show you your eternal dwellings," said St. Peter. They walked along the clouds and came to a huge mansion with all sorts of lavish trappings. St. Peter turned to the lawyer and told him this was to be his house. The Pope, knowing how important he was to the church could hardly imagine what his house would be like. St. Peter and the Pope continued on to a small, beat-up wooden shack. St. Peter told the Pope that this would be his dwelling. The Pope, shocked, said to St. Peter, "Just a minute!" That other guy was a lawyer and he gets a mansion. I was the head of the Roman Catholic church, and this is all the reward I get?" St. Peter looked at the Pope and said "True, you have done great things. But we have lots of Popes in Heaven, and that guy was the first lawyer ever to make it up here."
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has 81.26 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: christian, death, lawyer, life, mean
Yo' Mama is so stupid, when they said, "Order in the court," she asked for fries and a shake.
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has 80.91 % from 2277 votes. More jokes about: food, insulting, lawyer, stupid, Yo mama
Q: Why does California have the most lawyers, and New Jersey, the most toxic waste dumps? A: New Jersey got first pick.
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has 75.97 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: geography, lawyer, mean
A Russian, a Cuban, an American and a lawyer are riding together on a train. The Russian takes a bottle of the best vodka out of his pack, pours some into a glass, drinks it, and says: "In Russia, we have the best vodka in the world - nowhere in the world, you can find Vodka as good as the one we produce in Ukraine. And we have so much of it, that we can just throw it away..." Saying this, he opens the window and throws the rest of the bottle through it. All the others are quite impressed. The Cuban takes a pack of Havanas, unwraps one, lights it, and begins to smoke, saying: "In Cuba, we have the best cigars of the world: Havanas. Nowhere else in the world produces such a fine cigar, and we have so many of them, that we can just throw them away..." Saying that he opens the window and throws the pack of Havanas through it. Once again, everybody is quite impressed. At this point, the American stands up silently, opens the window, and throws the lawyer through it.
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has 73.31 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, ethnic, lawyer, mean, work
Son: "Mommy why doesn't Gandhi have hair?" Mom: "Because he never lies." Son: "Ohh now I see why ladies have long hair."
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has 72.77 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: communication, insulting, kids, mean, women
A lawyer was asked if he likes to become a Jehovah's Witness. He declined, as he hadn't seen the accident, but replied that he would still be interested in taking the case.
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has 71.52 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: communication, lawyer, mean, money, religious
My ex-wife is so thick, that it is for me, when we meet sometimes, easier to jump her over than to go around her.
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has 71.25 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, mean, wife, women
Do you know the difference between a postal box and a monkey's arse? Well if you don't know I will never ask you to post a letter for me.
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has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, insulting, mean
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute? A: Clothes.
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has 65.19 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: dirty, insulting, lawyer, mean, sex
Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm in love but not with you... When we broke up you thought I cried But all it was... Was another guy, You told your friends that I was a trick, I told mine that you had a weak dick... I said I loved you And you thought it was true, But guess what baby?! You got played too!
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has 61.95 % from 85 votes. More jokes about: dirty, insulting, love, mean, poems