Whats the cheapest type of meat that a redneck can buy? Deer balls, they're under a buck.
You might be a redneck if you think taking a bubble bath starts with eating beans for dinner.
A guy orders spaghetti in a restaurant. In the middle of eating he finds a hair in his food. He says to the waiter, "I'm not paying for this dirty meal," and walks out. The waiter watches the guy go into a whorehouse. The waiter waits about 10 minutes, bursts through the door and finds the guy with his face buried in p**sy. The waiter says, "You eat p**sy and complain about one hair in your spaghetti." The man replies, "Yeah, and if I find any spaghetti in this p**sy, I'm not paying for it either."
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, but nothing compared to you.
Q: What do a gang member and a redneck have in common? A: They both know how to throw a good hoe down.
Q: What do you call a redneck virgin? A: A 7 year old that can run faster than her brothers.
Yo' Mama is so redneck, the door mat to her trailer home doubles as a mad flap for her pick up truck.
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she thinks the Wu-Tang Clan is a Japanese orange drink company.
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow? He wanted rich milk.
The snake was punished because Chuck Norris tempted it to ate the apple.
Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of Bud. The passenger, Bubba, said "Lookey thar up ahead, Earl, it's a police roadblock!! We're gonna get busted fer drinkin' these here beers!!" "Don't worry, Bubba," Earl said. "We'll just pull over and finish drinkin' these beers then peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads, and throw the bottles under the seat." "What fer?", asked Bubba. "Just let me do the talkin', OK?," said Earl. Well, they finished their beers, threw the empties out of sight & put label on each of their foreheads. When they reached the roadblock, the sheriff said, "You boys been drinkin'?" "No, sir," said Earl while pointing at the labels. "We're on the patch."