Joke #8070

Whats the cheapest type of meat that a redneck can buy? Deer balls, they're under a buck.

A Jewish family invited their Redneck neighbors over for holiday dinner. The first course was set in front of them and the Jewish couple announced, "This is a soup made with matzoh balls." On seeing the 2 large matzoh balls in the soup, the redneck man was hesitant to taste this strange looking brew. Gently, the Jewish couple urged him to, "Just have a taste. If you don't like it, you don't have to finish it." Finally, he agrees. He digs his spoon in, first picking up a small piece of matzoh ball with some soup in the spoon, and tasting it gingerly. The usual mmmm sound can be heard coming from somewhere deep in his chest, and he quickly finished the soup. "That was delicious," he said, but I was wondering... "Can you eat any other parts of the matzoh?"

You might be a redneck if you think taking a bubble bath starts with eating beans for dinner.

Chuck Norris can pour a pancake so thin that it only has one side.

How do you make a rabbit fast? Don't feed it.

A farmer had 3 beautiful daughters who were getting ready to go out on dates. The first beau came to the door and said, "I'm Eddie, I'm here to pick up Betty. We're going for spaghetti, is she ready?" No. The second beau came to the door and said, "I'm Joe, I'm here to pick up Flo to take her to the show. Is she ready to go?" No. The third beau came to the door and said to the farmer. "Hello, my name is Chuck." The farmer shot Chuck.

Q: How does a redneck tell the difference between a bull and a cow in the dark? A: He sticks his nose in the animal's ass. If there's a place for his tongue, it's a cow.

Q: What do you call a holy redneck with absolutely no family? A: The Sole inbred.

Q: What's red, sits in front of a mirror, and gets smaller and smaller? A: A vain idiot combing his hair with a potato peeler.

You know you're a redneck if your house still has the "WIDE LOAD" sign on the back.

Chuck Norris can turn a vegan into a cannibal.