"Jeff, my child, your mother had to stay in the hospital for a few days, cause the stork that brought your baby brother bite her by accident."
"Oh, gosh! What a terrible thing to happen to her after such a difficult birth!"
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Two little kids are in hospital beds next to each other. The first kid leans over and asks, What are you in here for?
The second kid says, Im in here to get my tonsils out and Im a little nervous.
The first kid says, Youve got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of jelly and ice-cream. Its a breeze.
Cool, says the second kid. What are you in here for?
A circumcision.
Whoa! exclaims the second kid. Good luck, mate. I had that done just after I was born and I couldnt walk for a year.
"Jeff, my child, your mother had to stay in the hospital for a few days, cause the stork that brought your baby brother bite her by accident."
"Oh, gosh! What a terrible thing to happen to her after such a difficult birth!"
"Where did you born?"
"At the hospital!"
"Don’t tell me! And what were you in for?"
What is height of Laziness?
Adopting a child.
A client of a hospital where they made brain transplantations asked about the prices.
The doctor said, "Well, this Ph.D. brain costs $10,000.
This brain belonged to a NASA top scientist and costs $15,000.
Here we have a policeman's brain as well.
It costs $50,000."
The client asked, "What? How's that possible?"
The doctor replied, "You see, it's totally unused."
A scoutmaster asked one of his troop what good deed he had done for the day.
"Well, Skip," said the scout, "Dad had only one bottle of beer left, so I let my baby brother have it."
A little boy was learning about God in his church, and he was talking to his mother about it.
She, not wanting to place prejudice in the little boy’s mind, sat him and said: “God is not a man or a woman, and God is not black or white.”
To which the child responded, “Well, then is God Michael Jackson?”
"Excuse me, how do I get to the hospital quickly?"
"Just stand in the middle of the road for a while."
Vote:
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room.
When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover.
The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"
A child asked his father, "How were people born?"
So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on."
The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now."
The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."
