A guy walks into a bar, sits down and has a drink. Suddenly, a man hollers at him, "I screwed your mom last night!" Disturbed, the man tries to ignore him. Again, he hears, "Your mom was good in bed last night!" Again, he tries to ignore it. The man is just about to speak again but the guy stops him and says, "Dad, go home, you're drunk!"
Imagine that ur in the forest where there is a tiger in front of you right about to eat you. What do you do? U stop imagining...
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.
Bruce Lee didn't die from an allergic reaction. He died cause Chuck Norris decided to not let him live anymore.
Santa Clause, The Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy were all real at one time... then they met Chuck. There can only be 1 living legend.
The November 5th Gunpowder Plot has been described as the 9/11 of its day. Staged by the government to discredit an entire religion.
Chuck Norris lives on The Road Not Taken.
Q: Why is life like a penis? A: Women make it hard!
Taylor Swift waved at a boy yesterday and he didn't wave back... So she will have a new album coming out tomorrow.
My girlfriend left me because of my obsession with Linkin Park. But In the end, it doesn't even matter.