A guy walks into a bar, sits down and has a drink.
Suddenly, a man hollers at him, "I screwed your mom last night!"
Disturbed, the man tries to ignore him.
Again, he hears, "Your mom was good in bed last night!"
Again, he tries to ignore it.
The man is just about to speak again but the guy stops him and says, "Dad, go home, you're drunk!"
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"I hate being half bicycle-half motorcycle" he moped.
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Womens are like computer virus...
they ENTER your life...
SEARCH your pocket...
SHIFT your balance ...
CONTROL your life...
when you become an old version DELET you from the system
I have asked my mamma: "Mamma, why do we have 10 cock birds but only 1 hen?"
Mama has said to me: "Because I want that she has a better life than I had."
Q. What is Snoop Dog's favorite weather?
A. Drizzle
Boy asks his Gran nervously, "have you seen my pills ... they were labeled LSD ?"
Gran replies "fuck your pills ! Have you seen the dragon in the kitchen ?!"
Always be yourself. Unless you can be quiet, then be that.
A teenage boy overdosed on ten bottles of Viagra.
Not only is he lucky to be alive, he’s lucky not to have taken his eye out.
Chuck Norris lives on The Road Not Taken.
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In the town I have met one older woman, she told me: "if you give me ten euros, I will pray for your black soul."
I gave her the ten euros, became suspicious, didn't believe her and told her: "ok, but pray for me right now, not in the evening."
The woman has begun: "guardian angel, please, take care of my soul, forgive me all my sins and give me everything I need in my life."
I have asked her only: "for my money?"
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