Joke #8929

Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson are hiking. They hiked all day long and then, having gotten tired, unpacked and quickly retired. Holmes wakes up deep into the night, wakes Watson and says "Watson, do you see the bright stars and do you notice how clear the sky is? What can you deduce from it?" Watson yawns and tries to play the game. LWell, this clearly tells us the weather tomorrow is going to be dry and sunny." "No, my friend. It’s much simpler than that. Someone has stolen our tent."

In the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth... After that, everything else was Made in China.

There was no Big Bang. Chuck Norris arm wrestled himself and the energy produced created the universe.

Diplomacy is the art of sending someone to hell in the way that they are looking forward to it.

You know, I have Google+, Facebook, Twitter, Skype accounts... Man, and do you have life? OMG, No! Could you send me a link?

Coworker: Can you help me with this project? Me: The short answer is no. Coworker: What's the long answer? Me: Nooooooo.

Doctor: "And how is it going with your old ailment, Mr Smith?" Patient: "Very well, I've been divorced for half a year now."

Customer: "Waiter, this soup tastes funny." Waiter: "Funny? But then why aren’t you laughing?"

When we moved to the US I was 8 years old. I remember asking my father if I can have an allowance? When he asked me what that was, I said you're allowed to give me money.

Q: The more you take the more you leave behind. What am I? A: footsteps

Google is setting up a new search engine to answer life's difficult and most complex questions with the response always being the same... Chuck Norris.