What has two wings and a halo? A Chinese telephone. Wing, Wing, Halo
Q: How many Ethiopians can you fit into a telephone booth? A: All of them.
A white man walking down a beach kicks up a lamp, with hope he rubs the lamp. Sure enough a genie pops out, and says, "I will grant you 3 wishes but be warned every black person in the world will get double what you wish." After a thought he says he's got it. "My first wish is i want a million dollars." Genie "your wish has been granted and every black person now has 2 million dollars." Man "Ok my second wish i want 10 thousand acres Genie.." Granted but every black person in the world now has 20 thousand acres. "And now you have but one wish." "The man replies with my final wish... i wish you to beat me half to death."
Why did the Jews roam the desert for 400 years? Someone lost a quarter.
Me using the Siri app on my iPhone: Me: "Siri, call my wife." Siri: "Samantha McLaughlin is not in your contacts." Me: "Samantha Gibbs is my wife." Siri: "I've added Samantha Gibbs as your wife." Me: "Call my wife." Siri: "Which wife?"
Women are like telephones. They love to be held. They love to be talked to. But, if you press the wrong button, you're disconnected.
Yo' Mama is like a telephone book: available to the public, no charge.
When a woman found out that she was pregnant, she lit up the phone lines telling everyone the good news. One day later that week, she took her 4 year old son, Sam, out shopping. A woman asked the boy if he was excited about the baby. "Yes", he said. "I know what we're going to name it. If it is a girl, we're calling her Molly and if it is a boy, we're going to call it quits.
Yesterday, I failed my biology exam. The question was: "Name something commonly found in cells." Apparently, Niggers wasn't the right answer.
Whats the difference between usain bolt and hitler? Usain bolt can finish a race...
Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because no one has told him he's black.