Joke #8483

Q: Why was the dirty old man fired from the poultry shop? A: He couldn't keep his hands off the breasts and thighs.
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has 64.34 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: dirty

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After a day fishing in the ocean a fisherman is walking from the pier carrying two lobsters in a bucket. He is approached by the Game Warden who asks him for his fishing license. The fisherman says to the warden, "I did not catch these lobsters, they are my pets. Everyday I come done to the water and whistle and these lobster jump out and I take them for a walk only to return them at the end of the day." The warden, not believing him, reminds him that it is illegal to fish without a license. The fisherman turns to the warden and says, "If you don't believe me then watch," as he throws the lobsters back into the water. The warden says, "Now whistle to your lobsters and show me that they will come out of the water." The fisherman turns to the warden and says, "What lobsters?"
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has 73.06 % from 110 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop, dirty, fish
In funeral of my friend's wife, I went to condole him so I said: "Don't think she was your wife, she was for all".
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has 68.03 % from 113 votes. More jokes about: dirty, funeral, insulting, sex, wife
"Johny, please, tell us, what do you do the whole day, so?" "So, in the morning I cut the wood, sometimes with both hands, 5 minutes a day I play the guitar, to tell the truth. And in the afternoon I go to my garden to water the flowers. The lilies of the valleys and may-flowers I water most likely. Yes, they are really cute. Then I tear the leaflets to find out if the neighbor (her husband is not at home) loves me or not. The last time it came out that she loves me, fuck."
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has 36.82 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: dirty, little Johnny, love, music, time
Q: How can you tell if a lesbian is butch? A: She kick starts her vibrator and rolls her own tampons.
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has 57.49 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, lesbian
They are going to play golf at the business meeting. The guy flies out there a day early. He's got all day in Japan so he decides he wants to get himself a geisha. He goes to a house of ill repute and finds what he's looking for. He takes her in back and starts doing his thing. The girl starts going crazy. She starts yelling, "Machigatta ana! Machigatta ana!" He thinks, "This girl is loving this." Next day in the golf course he hits a hole in one. He doesn't know any Japanese so he yells, "Machigatta ana!" The Japanese guys ask him, "What do you mean wrong hole?"
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has 70.73 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: dirty, ethnic, golf, sex
Teacher: "Who knows 5+5=?" Little Johnny: "11" Teacher: "Take out your hand from trousers pocket and count with your fingers."
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has 69.22 % from 154 votes. More jokes about: dirty, little Johnny, math, stupid, teacher
What do tight pants and a cheap motel have in common? No ball room.
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has 72.07 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: dirty
What is the difference between a joystick and a man's d**k? A joystick does its job.
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has 43.44 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex
Getting married is like buying a dishwasher. You'll never have to do it by hand again.
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has 68.81 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: dirty, marriage, masturbation, technology, work
Coco Chanel once said that you should put perfume on places where you want to be kissed by a man. But hell does that burn!
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has 78.85 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: dirty, men, women