Joke #8483

Q: Why was the dirty old man fired from the poultry shop? A: He couldn't keep his hands off the breasts and thighs.

Knock Knock! Who's there? Testicules. Testicules who? Pillow for penis .

One day, a Sodomite went to his doctor's office to get an HIV blood test. While there, his blood got drawn and he then left. Two weeks later, he was back at his doctor's office in an examination room, waiting for the result of the HIV test. Suddenly, his doctor walks into the examination room and says to the gay guy, "I'm awfully sorry to tell you that the test shows that you're definitely HIV positive." The gay guy then asks the doctor, "So, what needs to be done now, doctor?" The doctor says to the gay dude, "I want you to go home, sit down at your kitchen table and eat 20 hamburgers, 20 hot dogs, 20 pizzas, 20 bags of chips, and 20 gallons of ice cream." The gay then asks his doctor, "How's doing all that gonna help me out with my HIV, doctor?" The doctor then replied, "It's not gonna help you out with your HIV at all but it will definitely teach you what your asshole is really for."

My girlfriend always calls me a pedophile, and all I can think is "Wow that is a big word for a nine year old."

My dick is too long and it causes some problems for me. On the other day when I with my girlfriend went to cinema suddenly I had an erection so that the shadow of my penis was reflected on the screen. Somebody from the corner shouted: "Mr bald sit down please we want to see the movie!"

What is the same with spreading butter on a toast and getting a woman to spread her legs? It is possible with a credit card, but much easier with a knife.

One day a tiny Apache indian child walked into Big Chief Sitting Bull's Teepee. "Sitting Bull," He asked, "Why does every man in our tribe have such long, complicated names?" "Well," says Sitting Bull, "Its simple.Whenever a baby in this tribe is born, His Father wanders outside, absorbs the wonder of nature and then names his child on the first thing he sees. Why do you ask, Two dogs fucking?"

What’s the difference between a barmaid in the evening and a barmaid at night? A barmaid in the evening is fair and buxom. A barmaid at night is bare and...

Three generations of hookers were sitting around the kitchen table one morning. The youngest moans "the economy is so bad, I can only get $20 for a blowjob. The middle aged hooker says "shit, you think that's bad? In my day $5 was a good trick" The oldest says "shit, back in the depression we was just happy to have something warm in our bellies"

The main rule to obey, if you are in jail: never take a bow for a fallen soap from the wash basin. Try and you'll cry.

I see you ordered the most expensive item on the menu for our first date. I hope you realize that it comes with a side order of my dick.