What's the difference between an apple and a black man?
None!
They both hang from trees.
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Similar jokes
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What's purple, covered in pus and squeals?
A peeled baby in a bag of salt.
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Seven friends once pulled this at my college cafeteria.
One put a hot water bottle filled with pea soup down his chest; he sat at the head of a table, with the other six friends sitting along the sides.
When the cafeteria was pretty full of people, he made a loud noise (to attract attention), stood up, bent over and squeezed his chest.
This caused a huge gush of green liquid to spew all over the table; the other six immediately began to eat this green liquid.
I think a lot of food went uneaten that night.
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Why do cannibals make suitcases out of people's heads?
Because they're headcases.
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Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
A: Getting her out of the wheelchair.
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"If I could be someone for one day I would be Justin Beiber and run off a cliff"
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Bubba dies in a fire and his body is pretty badly burned.
The morgue sends for his two best friends, Daryl and Gomer, to identify the body.
Daryl arrives first, and when the mortician pulls back the sheet, Daryl says, "Yup, his face is burnt up pretty bad.
You better roll him over."
The mortician rolls him over, and Daryl says, "Nope, ain't Bubba."
The mortician thinks this is strange.
Then he brings Gomer in to identify the body.
Gomer takes a look at the face and says, "Yup, he's pretty well burnt up. Roll him over."
The mortician rolls him over and Gomer says, "No, it ain't Bubba."
The mortician asks, "How can you tell?"
Gomer said, "Well, Bubba had two a**holes."
"What? He had two assholes?!" exclaims the mortician.
"Yup, every time we went to town, folks would say, 'Here comes Bubba with them two assholes.'"
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Lifting weights have really helped me with the ladies - the last five I raped didn't stand a chance.
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The only church which is disseminating light and warmth is the burning church.
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What's the difference betwee Elton John and Princess Diana ?
One's composing, the other is decomposing.
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