What's the difference between an apple and a black man? None! They both hang from trees.
What's black and red, wears high top Reeboks and cant go through a revolving door? A nigger with a spear through his head.
Two Arabs are sitting in the Gaza Strip chatting over a pint of goats milk. One pulls his wallet out and starts flipping through pictures and they start reminiscing. "This is my oldest son. He's a martyr. "Here's my second son. He's a martyr too!" After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Arab wistfully says , They blow up so fast, don't they?"
Did you hear about the cannibal who joined the police force? He said he wanted to grill his suspects.
What is the difference between turkey and mother-in-law? There is no difference: both are the best when they are cold on the table.
A pretty lady is standing on the side of a bridge, looking over it and thinking about jumping off. A homeless alcoholic man comes up to her as he was walking nearby. The lady notices the man coming and says: "Go away! There's nothing you can say to me to change my mind, you cannot help me." "Well, if you're going to kill yourself anyway, why don't we have sex? At least I'll enjoy it" replies the man. "No way, you're disgusting, go away." The homeless man turns and starts walking away. The lady thinks: "Is that all you were going to say to me? Nothing more? Won't you try to convince me that life is worth living that I should not jump off? Where are you going?" The homeless man thinks: "I have to make it down to the bottom. If I hurry, you'll still be warm."
How do you get a baby to run faster? Chase it with the lawn mower.
Q: Why do old Jews have outhouses? A: Because their afraid of the showers.
Q: What did the deaf, blind, mute girl get for Christmas? A: Cancer.
Smith was hit by a car, died, and went to heaven. And everyone who goes to heaven has to work. God went up to Smith, and said: Smith, you are going to make babies. Here is this wheel, and every time you turn it, a baby will come out. For hours, Smith spun the wheel at full speed, then he started to get tired. As he was slowing down, a black baby came out...and Smith said: **** I better hurry because they are burning."
Mummy, mummy, why is daddy swaying in the backyard? Shut up, and give me more bullets.