How the children from Chernobil count from one to hundred? On the fingers!
Q. What do Ethiopians and Yoko Ono have in common? A. They both live off dead Beatles.
I broke up with my Japanese girlfriend today. I had to drop the bomb two or three times before she finally got it.
The crusty old managing partner finally passed away, but his firm kept receiving calls asking to speak with him. "I'm sorry, he's dead," was the standard answer. Finally, the receptionist who fielded the calls began to realize it was always the same voice, so she asked who it was and why he kept calling. The reply: "I used to be one of his junior associates, and I just like to hear you say it."
Only nowadays there appeared a possibility to realize yourselfe: sell your liver, kidneis, skeleton...
"My parachute did not work." Said no one ever.
First Cannibal: "Who was that girl I saw you with last night?" Second Cannibal: "That was no girl, that was my supper."
A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant. After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: "Well, I hope you like changing nappies/diapers". She replies: "Oh my god am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?" To which he responds: "No, you've got bowel cancer."
What happened when the cannibal bit off a missionary's ear? He had his first taste of Christianity!
Q: What happened to the entertainer who did a show for the cannibals? A: He went down really well!