How the children from Chernobil count from one to hundred?
On the fingers!
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I got in trouble for telling a joke in 5th grade.
Now I have to keep 250 feet away from all schools...
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What do Princess Diana and Pink Floyd have in common?
Their last big hit was The Wall.
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Q: What's more offensive than a truck full of dead babies?
A: Taking them out with pitchforks.
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Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a blender?
A: I don't know, I just like to hear them scream.
Q: How do you get them out?
A: Chips.
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Mother, "How was school today, Patrick?"
Patrick, "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!"
Mother, "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?"
Patrick, "What school?"
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Hitler got a heart attack when he saw the gas bill.
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Q: What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
A: With a knife.
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What is the difference between turkey and mother-in-law?
There is no difference: both are the best when they are cold on the table.
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A blind man with a guide dog comes to a town square, takes the dog by the tail and starts whirling him around.
„What on earth are you doing?!" asks a passer-by.
The blind man replies, „Nothing, just looking around a bit."
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