Joke #914

Mummy, mummy, why is daddy swaying in the backyard? Shut up, and give me more bullets.
Vote:
has 58.65 % from 168 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dad

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Two kids were talking together. First: "My daddy is so tall that he can touch the clouds in the sky with his hands." Second: "That is excellent. Does your daddy touch something soft and downy?" First: "Yes, of course." Second: "Those are my daddy's testicles."
Vote:
has 84.37 % from 1065 votes. More jokes about: black humor, communication, dad, dirty, kids
"Daddy, there is a man at the door. He says he is collecting for the nursing home." "That's perfect. Tell him grandpa is coming in a moment."
Vote:
has 80.25 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dad, family
"Mommy, mommy, I found daddy!" "How often do I have to tell you not to dig around in the garden!"
Vote:
has 78.23 % from 100 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dad, death, husband, kids
The best thing after an intensive argument is the peace-sex. But I hate when I argue with my father-in-law.
Vote:
has 67.20 % from 110 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dad, gay, sex
Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie, whose dog, Skipper, had recently died. "You know," Mom said, "it's not so bad. Skipper's probably up in Heaven right now, having a grand old time with God." Susie stopped crying and asked, "What would God want with a dead dog?"
Vote:
has 57.08 % from 85 votes. More jokes about: animal, black humor, dad, death, dog
My dad was a complicated man. He was a huge racist, my dad, but he still tried to be a good father, you know? Like, he would tell me that Santa Claus was black — that way, when I found out he didn't exist, it wouldn't be that big a let down.
Vote:
has 53.83 % from 126 votes. More jokes about: black humor, black people, dad, racist, Santa
My dad died on 9-11. He was the best amateur bomber on Iraq's flight team.
Vote:
has 50.53 % from 106 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dad, death, terrorist
My previous girlfriend had this weird sleeping disorder - in the middle of every night she would wake up and suck my dick. No wonder her dad did not want her to move out.
Vote:
has 41.46 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dad, sex
Little Johnny was in Maths class when his teacher asked him: "Johnny, if your Mother had to repay a loan of $100,000, and you gave her $50,000, what would she need to repay the loan?" Johnny replied, "To repay the loan? $50,000 more. To stay alive? CPR."
Vote:
has 46.11 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: black humor, little Johnny, math, money, vulgar
This older Jewish man was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to receive the anesthesia he asked to speak to his son. "Yes Dad, what is it?" "Don’t be nervous, son, do your best and just remember, if it doesn’t go well, if something happens to me… your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife…"
Vote:
has 76.85 % from 415 votes. More jokes about: age, dad, doctor, jewish, life