Joke #914

Mummy, mummy, why is daddy swaying in the backyard? Shut up, and give me more bullets.
Vote: has 58.77 % from 158 votes. Send joke:

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Two kids were talking together. First: "My daddy is so tall that he can touch the clouds in the sky with his hands." Second: "That is excellent. Does your daddy touch something soft and downy?" First: "Yes, of course." Second: "Those are my daddy's testicles."
Vote: has 84.84 % from 130 votes. Send joke:

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"Mommy, mommy, I found daddy!" "How often do I have to tell you not to dig around in the garden!"
Vote: has 75.62 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

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"Daddy, there is a man at the door. He says he is collecting for the nursing home." "That's perfect. Tell him grandpa is coming in a moment."
Vote: has 73.89 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

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The best thing after an intensive argument is the peace-sex. But I hate when I argue with my father-in-law.
Vote: has 68.61 % from 64 votes. Send joke:

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My dad was a complicated man. He was a huge racist, my dad, but he still tried to be a good father, you know? Like, he would tell me that Santa Claus was black — that way, when I found out he didn't exist, it wouldn't be that big a let down.
Vote: has 60.65 % from 44 votes. Send joke:

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My dad died on 9-11. He was the best amateur bomber on Iraq's flight team.
Vote: has 55.57 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

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Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie, whose dog, Skipper, had recently died. "You know," Mom said, "it's not so bad. Skipper's probably up in Heaven right now, having a grand old time with God." Susie stopped crying and asked, "What would God want with a dead dog?"
Vote: has 52.31 % from 57 votes. Send joke:

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My previous girlfriend had this weird sleeping disorder - in the middle of every night she would wake up and suck my dick. No wonder her dad did not want her to move out.
Vote: has 37.45 % from 40 votes. Send joke:

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What's red and dances all around? A baby on a barbecue
Vote: has 36.90 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

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Two cannibals were having lunch. "Your wife makes a great soup," said one to the other. "Yes!" agreed the first. "But I'm going to miss her terribly."
Vote: has 48.13 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

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