Joke #914

Mummy, mummy, why is daddy swaying in the backyard? Shut up, and give me more bullets.
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has 58.80 % from 166 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dad

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Two kids were talking together. First: "My daddy is so tall that he can touch the clouds in the sky with his hands." Second: "That is excellent. Does your daddy touch something soft and downy?" First: "Yes, of course." Second: "Those are my daddy's testicles."
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has 85.26 % from 978 votes. More jokes about: black humor, communication, dad, dirty, kids
"Daddy, there is a man at the door. He says he is collecting for the nursing home." "That's perfect. Tell him grandpa is coming in a moment."
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has 79.77 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dad, family
"Mommy, mommy, I found daddy!" "How often do I have to tell you not to dig around in the garden!"
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has 76.46 % from 82 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dad, death, husband, kids
The best thing after an intensive argument is the peace-sex. But I hate when I argue with my father-in-law.
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has 67.91 % from 102 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dad, gay, sex
My dad was a complicated man. He was a huge racist, my dad, but he still tried to be a good father, you know? Like, he would tell me that Santa Claus was black — that way, when I found out he didn't exist, it wouldn't be that big a let down.
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has 55.86 % from 95 votes. More jokes about: black humor, black people, dad, racist, Santa
Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie, whose dog, Skipper, had recently died. "You know," Mom said, "it's not so bad. Skipper's probably up in Heaven right now, having a grand old time with God." Susie stopped crying and asked, "What would God want with a dead dog?"
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has 53.78 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: animal, black humor, dad, death, dog
My dad died on 9-11. He was the best amateur bomber on Iraq's flight team.
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has 52.19 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dad, death, terrorist
My previous girlfriend had this weird sleeping disorder - in the middle of every night she would wake up and suck my dick. No wonder her dad did not want her to move out.
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has 39.47 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dad, sex
Sunday school teacher asked Little Johnny, "Do you believe in the Devil?" "No," said Little Johnny. "It's the same as Santa Claus. I know it's my daddy."
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has 74.46 % from 252 votes. More jokes about: dad, little Johnny, Santa, school, teacher
Two guys are bungee-jumping one day. The first guy says to the second. "You know, we could make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumping service in Mexico." The second guy thinks this is a great idea, so the two pool their money and buy everything they’ll need – a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc. They travel to Mexico and begin to set up on the square. As they are constructing the tower, a crowd begins to assemble. Slowly, more and more people gather to watch them at work. The first guy jumps. He bounces at the end of the cord, but when he comes back up, the second guy notices that he has a few cuts and scratches. Unfortunately, the second guy isn’t able catch him, he falls again, bounces and comes back up again. This time, he is bruised and bleeding. Again, the second guy misses him. The first guy falls again and bounces back up. This time, he comes back pretty messed up – he’s got a couple of broken bones and is almost unconscious. Luckily, the second guy finally catches him this time and says, "What happened? Was the cord too long?" The first guy says, "No, the cord was fine, but what the heck is a 'pinata'?"
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has 79.03 % from 143 votes. More jokes about: black humor, mexican, money, work