Joke #914

Mummy, mummy, why is daddy swaying in the backyard? Shut up, and give me more bullets.
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The best thing after an intensive argument is the peace-sex. But I hate when I argue with my father-in-law.
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My dad died on 9-11. He was the best amateur bomber on Iraq's flight team.
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My dad was a complicated man. He was a huge racist, my dad, but he still tried to be a good father, you know? Like, he would tell me that Santa Claus was black — that way, when I found out he didn't exist, it wouldn't be that big a let down.
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Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie, whose dog, Skipper, had recently died. "You know," Mom said, "it's not so bad. Skipper's probably up in Heaven right now, having a grand old time with God." Susie stopped crying and asked, "What would God want with a dead dog?"
Vote: has 52.31 % from 57 votes. Send joke:

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My previous girlfriend had this weird sleeping disorder - in the middle of every night she would wake up and suck my dick. No wonder her dad did not want her to move out.
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What did the dad say when his son said, "Dad I'm tired of walking in circles?" "Shut up kid or I'll nail your other foot to the ground."
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What's the last thing that went through Princess Diana's mind? The dashboard.
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Q: What is Moby Dick's dad's name? A: Papa Boner
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What did the Boston Marathon bombers do that Hitler couldn't? Ended a race.
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A proud new father sits down with his dad to have a drink. "Well son, now that you have a son of your own its time I gave you something." "Dad you don´t mea-" "Yes I do. You've earned it." Says the father as he passes a copy of '1001 Dad Jokes 5th Edition' to the son. "Dad I dont know what to say...I'm honored." "Hi honored," Replies the father. "I'm dad."
Vote: has 53.58 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

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