Q: Why did the boy fall off the swing? A: He didn't have any arms.
I saw a man with one arm shopping in a second hand store. I thought "You are never going to find here what you are looking for"...
How do you hide your money from a mexican?
One step forward, 12 floors down.
Patient: "Are you sure that you can do this operation safely?" Doctor: "That is what I want to find out myself."
What's 18 inches long and makes women scream all night ? Crib death.
Q: Why does Dr. Pepper come in bottles? A: Because his wife died.
My wife and I had been debating whether it was time to start a family when we saw a couple of cute kids, splashing and giggling in a paddling pool. I looked at her and said, "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" She smiled and said, "Yes, Gary..." "That settles it, then," I replied. "We can't raise children if we're both paedos."
Q. Why did Michael Jackson call Boys II Men? A. He thought it was a home delivery service.
What's the best way to pick up a Jewish girl? Bring a dustpan to Auschwitz
What do you call of 6 year old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor.