Q: Why did the boy fall off the swing? A: He didn't have any arms.
How the children from Chernobil count from one to hundred? On the fingers!
Q: What do you call a 100 lack people in the ocean? A: An oil spill
Doctor to Patient: "Don’t worry about your heart. It will function as long as you live."
When Chuck Norris makes a burrito, its main ingredient is real toes.
John Leslie has been accused of raping a disabled black girl on Blue Peter. He blamed it on dyslexia & said he thought the script said, use sticky black spastic.
In the war, a German ship suspected that they were being tracked by an Irish submarine. Unfortunately, they had used up all of their depth-charges. As an alternative, one of their Divers decided to swim down to the submarine and knock on the door.
"Daddy, there is a man at the door. He says he is collecting for the nursing home." "That's perfect. Tell him grandpa is coming in a moment."
I walked passed a burnt out building with a broken sign saying "Fireworks". How right they were.
What's brown and gurgles? A baby in a casserole.
It is interesting how different nations have their dogs make different sounds. An American dog goes Woof, a Czech dog goes Haf, a Dutch dog goes Blaf and a Chinese dog goes Sizzle.