Joke #9650

Q: Why did the boy fall off the swing? A: He didn't have any arms.

A reporter was interviewing a 104 year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked. She simply replied, "No peer pressure."

What's the difference between an apple and a black man? None! They both hang from trees.

Q. Why did Michael Jackson call Boys II Men? A. He thought it was a home delivery service.

Q: Why did cow cross road? A: To find to the udder side.

What do you do if an epileptic falls in your pool? Throw in your laundry.

How did the tugboat get AIDS? It was rear-ended by a ferry.

While examining the the body of Mr. Schwartz, a mortician notices that Schwartz has the largest penis he has ever seen. "I'm sorry, Mr. Schwartz," says the mortician, "But I can't send you to be cremated with a tremendously huge penis like this. It has to be saved for posterity." The mortician removes the penis, places it in a jar and puts the jar in his briefcase. When he gets home, he decides to show it to his wife. "I have something to show you that you won't believe," he says, removing the jar from his briefcase. "Oh my God!" she screams, "Schwartz is dead!"

Three gay men died, and were going to be cremated. Their lovers happened to be at the funeral home at the same time, and were discussing what they planned to do with the ashes. The first man said, "My Ryan loved to fly, so I'm going up in a plane and scatter his ashes in the sky." The second man said, "My Ross was a good fisherman, so I'm going to scatter his ashes in our favorite lake." The third man said, "My Jack was such a good lover, I think I'm going to dump his ashes in a pot of chili, so he can tear my ass up just one more time."

I bet Rosa Parks killed it in musical chairs.

How can you help a starving cannibal? Give him a helping hand.