Joke #9203

A mother was teaching her three year old daughter The Lord’s Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime, she repeated it after her mother. One night she said she was ready to solo. The mother listened with pride, as she carefully said each word right up to the end… "And lead us not into temptation," she prayed, "but deliver us some e-mail, Amen."

Q: Why was the blonde girl's belly button bruised? A: Because blonde men are dumb too.

I'm like happy meal. "Coz you are small and pretty?" "No, coz I always c*m with a toy inside.

Scientists have finally discovered what is wrong with the female brain. On the left side, there is nothing right, and on the right side, there is nothing left.

Happy Father's Day to the top three most likely candidates.

Q: Why do women have two holes so close together? A: In case you miss.

This morning I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator. I was staring at boobs and she said "Press One?" So I did... I don't remember much after that.

Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said,"Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied,"Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The second engineer nodded approvingly. "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."

A lady goes to the doctor to see about getting a facelift. "Well," says the doctor, "I can do the facelift, and then you’ll have to come back in six months for a follow-up." "Oh, no.”" the woman replies. "I want it all done in one shot. I don’t want to have to come back." The doctor thinks for a second, then offers, "There is a new procedure where we put a screw in the top of your head. Then anytime you see wrinkles appearing, you just give it a little turn, which pulls the skin up and they disappear." "That’s what I want!" exclaims the lady. "Let’s do that." Six months later the lady charges into the doctor’s office. "Well, how’s the procedure holding up?" the doctor asks. "Terrible!" the lady bellows. "It’s the worst mistake I’ve ever made." "What’s wrong?" asks the doctor. "Just look at these bags under my eyes!" she hollers. "Lady," the doctor reports, "those aren’t bags, those are your boobs, and if you don’t leave that screw alone, you’re going to have a beard!"

"There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works."

What should you give a man who has everything? A woman to show him how to work it