Joke #2251

"There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works."
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Q: Why do women have two holes so close together? A: In case you miss.
Vote: has 63.92 % from 90 votes. Send joke:

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Single women claim that all the good men are married, while all married women complain about their lousy husbands. This confirms that there is no such thing as a good man. This confirms too, that women are always confused and don't know what they want.
Vote: has 67.68 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

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My sister was with two men in one night. She could hardly walk after that. Can you imagine? Two dinners!
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A lady who was speeding had an officer pulled her to the side of the road.   She didn't have her seat belt on so as soon as she stopped, she quickly slipped it on before the officer got to her window. After talking to her about speeding, the officer said, "I see you are wearing your seat belt. Do you believe in wearing it at all times?" "Yes, I do, officer," she replied. "Well," asked the officer, "do you always do it up with it looped through your steering wheel?"
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Question: How can you tell if your wife is dead? Answer: The sex will be the same but the dishes will pile up.
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A woman announces to her friend that she is getting married for the fourth time. "How wonderful! But I hope you don't mind me asking what happened to your first husband?" "He ate poisonous mushrooms and died." "Oh, how tragic! What about your second husband?" "He ate poisonous mushrooms too and died." "Oh, how terrible! I'm almost afraid to ask you about your third husband." "He died of a broken neck." "A broken neck?" "He wouldn't eat the mushrooms."
Vote: has 87.11 % from 263 votes. Send joke:

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I like my women the same as I like my whiskey ... 20 years old and mixed up with coke !
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Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.
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I like my women how I like my laptop. Sat on my lap, turned on & completely virus free.
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Jim and Edna are both mental patients. One day Jim jumps into the swimming pool but, doesn't come up for air. Quick as a flash, Edna sees her friend in trouble, so dives in and pulls him out. Later, the hospital director calls Edna into his office and sayes "Edna, Ive got some good news and some bad news. The good news is, we are releasing you as you are obviously sane 'saving anothers life'. But unfortunately, the bad news is that Jim hanged himself in the bathroom ..." "Oh no' Edna replies, that's where I put him to dry !"
Vote: has 65.16 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

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