Joke #2251

"There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works."

"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper." "What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!" "I know all that." "Then why did you invite a friend for supper?" "Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."

A young woman for whom a marriage with an old man was being arranged by her parents refused to go through with the ceremony because as she put it, " I don't want to feel old age creeping on me!"

Q:Why did the woman cross the road? A I don't know, the real question is, why was she out of the kitchen?

Women are Angels. And when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly... On a broomstick. We're flexible like that.

My wife said wanted something shiny that went from 0-150 in under 2 seconds. I gave her a scale.

Q: How do you blind a woman? A: You put a windshield in front of her.

A man is sitting in a bar when a beautiful woman walks up and whispers in his ear, “I'll do anything you want for 50 bucks.” He puts his drink down and starts going through his pockets. He pulls out a ten, two five's, a twenty and ten ones. He thrusts the wadded up money into the woman's hand and says, "Here...paint my house.”

What’s the difference between a straight woman and a bisexual woman? 4 drinks.

Why are women like parking spaces? Because all the best ones are taken... and the rest are handicapped.

"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper." "What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!" "I know all that." "Then why did you invite a friend for supper?" "Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."