Hey! I don't have a mom, me and my dad share yours.
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The honeymoon couple left the wedding reception and hailed a cab to take them to their romantic boutique hotel in the hills.
The driver wasn’t too sure how to get there, so he told the couple he would ask directions when they got closer to their destination.
Meanwhile, the lovers couldn’t wait to get busy, so they got down to business in the back seat.
During the couple’s moment of passion, the cabdriver noticed a fork in the road, and said, "I take the next turn, right?"
"Screw NO, get your own woman," said the groom, "this one’s all mine!"
Q. How can you tell a head nurse?
A. She's the one with the dirty knees!
Q: What's the worst part about sex?
A: When they wake up!
An old football player was dying.
So he called her wife and told her: "My dearest you see I'm dying. May you confess how many times you have done betrays against me during your life?"
Her spouse said: "Forgive me, my dear, only 3 times:
1. Do you remember it was so difficult to admit you as a football player in the team? So I went to the couch and did something. That was the cause for you to be a player in the team.
2. Do you remember when you entered the team no body didn't pass you? I went to 10 others players so they changed a friendly treatment during half times.
3. Do you remember during matching nobody of 30000 viewers didn't encourage you? I did something..."
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Grandmother is so stupid, she’s gone on the pill because she doesn’t want any more grandchildren.
Want to make a porno?
We don't have to tape it.
Q: What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?
A: Full.
Masturbation is like procrastination, it’s all good and fun until you realize you are only fucking yourself!
Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
A: Ask your mom.
Chuck Norris can't have children, because his dick wouldn't fit.
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