Joke #9433

Hey! I don't have a mom, me and my dad share yours.

Q: How do you know a blonde just lost her virginity? A: The crayons are still sticky.

Programming is like sex. One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.

Q: What do Democrats and porn stars have in common? A: They are experts in switching positions in front of a camera.

Men are like vacations – they never seem to be long enough.

An Irish priest and a Rabbi found themselves sharing a compartment on a train. After a while, the priest opened a conversation by saying "I know that, in your religion, you’re not supposed to eat pork... Have you actually ever tasted it?" The Rabbi said, "I must tell the truth. Yes, I have, on the odd occasion." Then the Rabbi had his turn of interrogation. He asked, "Your religion, too... I know you’re supposed to be celibate. But..." The priest replied, "Yes, I know what you’re going to ask. I have succumbed once or twice." There was silence for a while. Then the Rabbi peeped around the newspaper he was reading and said, "Better than pork, isn’t it?"

My 1st time having sex. I suddenly stopped and didn't move. She: "What are you doing?" Me: "I've seen this on YouPorn, it's called Buffering.

Little Johnny: "Dad why your dick's hairs are black but the hairs of your head are are going to be white?" Dad: "My dear the first one is thinking but the second is enjoying."

A man comes home and tells his wife to tell him something that is going to laugh and cry. Wife thinks for a minute and says... "of all your friends you have the biggest dick."

What do nostalgic gynaecologists do? Look up old friends.

What do you get when you have sex with a pregnant woman? A baby with a black eye!