Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either.
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I’m not cheap, but I am on special this week.
Johny met his classmate from high school after ten years who was still very beautiful.
As he met her, he told her only: "Hi Ann, I am pleased to see you again after so many years."
Ann took a look at his pants and said: "I know that you´re pleased."
Q:What's the worst thing your wife can say during sex?
A:Honey I'm home.
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?
A: Clothes.
Paddy and his two friends are talking at a bar.
His first friend says: "I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician.
The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren't mine."
His second friend says: "I think my wife is having an affair with the plumber.
The other day I found a wrench under the bed and it wasn't mine."
Paddy says: "I think my wife is having an affair with a horse." Both his friends look at him with utter disbelief.
"No, I'm serious.
The other day I came home and found a jockey under our bed."
Vaginas are like weather.
When it's wet, it's time to go inside.
Q: What does a good steak have in common with good sex?
A: They're both very rare.
Are your legs made of Nutella?
Because I'd love to spread them!
I had a visitor one night… he explored my body… licked, sucked, swallowed & had his fill… when satisfied he left… I was hurt… Damn mosquito!!!