Joke #95

Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either.
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Tom to Dick: ‘My mother made me a homosexual.’ Dick: ‘If I bought her enough wool would she make me one as well?’
Vote: has 31.45 % from 47 votes. Send joke:

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Question: How can you tell if your wife is dead? Answer: The sex will be the same but the dishes will pile up.
Vote: has 58.98 % from 42 votes. Send joke:

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One day a guy and a girl were making out in her parents' bedroom, and it was getting pretty steamy. All of a sudden, the guy takes out his shlong and places it in her hand. She screams and runs downstairs, through the kitchen, through the living room, the bathroom, the dining room, back upstairs, through her bedroom, her bathroom, her sister's bedroom, down the hall and back into her parents' bedroom. "Listen, pal! I have two words for you -- DROP DEAD!" "I have two words for you -- LET GO!"
Vote: has 56.05 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

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Why don’t women blink during foreplay? They don’t have time.
Vote: has 42.06 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

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An apple, a banana and a penis got into an argument one day. The apple says sadly "I have the worst life ever. People take one bite of me and throw me on the ground." The banana says "You think thats bad? People take off my clothes, eat my insides and leave my clothes on the floor." The penis laughs. "You guys have it easy. You try having people sticking you in dark, wet caves, putting bags over your head, messaging you for hours and making you do push-ups until you throw up!"
Vote: has 77.70 % from 407 votes. Send joke:

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I went into the bar the other day & the bartender said: "What'ya have?" I said: "Suprise me." He did, He showed me a naked picture of my wife. I said: "Hey, who said you could mess around with my wife?" "Everyone did" he replied..."
Vote: has 66.34 % from 117 votes. Send joke:

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Hey, you wanna do a 68? You go down on me, and I'll owe you one.
Vote: has 61.25 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

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Q: Did you hear about the couple that "96ed?" A: After they "69ed" they rolled over and sh*t in each other's hair.
Vote: has 46.70 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

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A young , attractive woman thought she might have some fun with a stiff-looking military man at a cocktail party, so she walked over and asked him, “Major, when was the last time you had sex?” “1956,” was his reply. “No wonder you look so uptight!” she exclaimed. “Major, you need to get out more!” “I’m not sure I understand you,” he answered, glancing at his watch, ”It’s only 2014 now.”
Vote: has 74.48 % from 346 votes. Send joke:

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Girl: "Do you believe in puppy love?" Boy: "I tried it once, but their assholes are too small."
Vote: has 67.68 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

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