One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister." Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother."
The pregnancy report of Santu’s wife came. Doctor said, "Oh, nothing to get excited, it was just the gas problem." Santu looks up at the sky towards the God and says, "Lord, What have you given me, a penis or an Air Pump."
Q: What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit? A: At least a zit waits until you’re a teenager before it cums on your face!
Q: Why did the elves spell Christmas N-O-E? A: Because Santa had said, "No L!"
Santa rides in a sleigh. What do elves ride in? Mini vans!
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette are riding in an elevator, when they see a small puddle in the corner. The brunette looks at it. "That's definitely cum," she says. The redhead touches it. "That's definitely cum," she says. The blonde takes a little taste. "That's definitely cum, but nobody in our building."
What do you get when the Pillsbury Doughboy bends over? Dough Nuts!
Two lepers playing poker, one threw his hand in, the other laughed his head off.
Cop on horse says to little girl on bike, "Did Santa get you that?" "Yes," replies the little girl. "Well tell him to put a reflector light on it next year!" and fines her $5. The little girl looks up at the cop and says, "Nice horse you've got there, did Santa bring you that?" The cop chuckles and replies, "He sure did!" "Well," says the little girl, "Next year tell Santa that the d*ck goes under the horse, not on top of it!"
Boy - "dear Santa, for xmas, I would like a baby brother." Santa - "Send me your mother."
Q: What do you call a prostitute with her hand down her skirt? A: Self-employed.