Q: Why is Santa always so jolly when he comes to the UK? A: He can claim Gift Relief.
Q: What is Father Christmas's tax status? A: Elf-employed.
Q: Why does Santa have an accountant in the USA? A: So he can avoid Gift Taxes.
How do you know you have a great CPA? He has a tax loophole named after him.
Q: What do blondes and railroad tracks have in common? A: They've both been laid all over America.
A gay American was caught by his Filipino gay husband cheating. The American husband asked, "how did you find out?" The Filipino husband replied, "through my Western Union Receipts."
Chuck Norris once round house kicked a bear while on a survival trek in Siberia. That incident was known as the Tunguska event.
Yo mama so ugly when Santa came down the chimney he said ho! ho! hoooollly shit!
The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real. It's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
"It's clear" said the teacher, "That you haven't studied your geography. What's your excuse?" "Well, my dad says the world is changing every day. So I decided to wait until it settles down!"
Santa Claus asks Chuck Norris for presents.