Q: Why is Santa always so jolly when he comes to the UK?
A: He can claim Gift Relief.
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Q: Why does Santa have an accountant in the USA?
A: So he can avoid Gift Taxes.
Q: What is Father Christmas's tax status?
A: Elf-employed.
In order to help jump-start the U.S. economy, the INS has announced that this year they will stop focusing on illegal aliens, and begin the deportation of retired people.
It's predicted that this will not only help lower health care entitlement costs, but it turns out that retirees are much easier to catch.
Plus, they rarely can remember how to get back home.
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Q: How do you know you've got a good tax accountant?
A: He's had a loophole named after him.
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Yo mama so ugly she made santa say ho ho ho.
I hate paying my income tax.
You should be a good citizen - why don't you pay with a smile?
I'd like to but they insist on money.
My dad was a complicated man.
He was a huge racist, my dad, but he still tried to be a good father, you know?
Like, he would tell me that Santa Claus was black — that way, when I found out he didn't exist, it wouldn't be that big a let down.
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Did you hear about the cannibal Tax Accountant?
She charges an arm and a leg.
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A man goes to the doctor. "Doctor, that medicine you gave me isn't working. Is there anything else I could try?".
"Fill out this tax form," suggests the doctor.
"How's that going to help me?", asks the man.
"I'm not sure," replies the doctor, "but some of my patients say it gives them relief."
Accountant after reading a nursery rhyme to his child,"No, son. It wouldn't be tax deductible when Little Bo Peep loses her sheep. But I like your thinking."
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