Q: Why is Santa always so jolly when he comes to the UK?
A: He can claim Gift Relief.
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Q: Why does Santa have an accountant in the USA?
A: So he can avoid Gift Taxes.
Q: What is Father Christmas's tax status?
A: Elf-employed.
Q: Why can't women read maps?
A: Because only the male mind can comprehend the concept of 1 inch equals a mile.
On a famous TV game show a blonde contestant needed only to answer one more question.
One simple question stood between her and the Ł1.000 prize.
"To be today's champion," the show's host smiled, "name two of Santa's reindeer."
The blonde gave a sigh of relief because she had been given such an easy question.
"Rudolph!" she said confidently, "and... Olive!"
The studio audience started to applaud (as the little sign above their heads said to do) but the clapping quickly faded into mumbling, and the confused host replied, "Yes, we'll accept Rudolph, but could you please explain... 'Olive?!'"
"You know," the woman circled her hand forward impatiently and began to sing, "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer - had a very shiny nose. And if you ever saw it, you would even say it glowed. *Olive,* the other reindeer..."
Yo mama so ugly when Santa came down the chimney he said ho! ho! hoooollly shit!
Santa Clause, The Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy were all real at one time... then they met Chuck.
There can only be 1 living legend.
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What has antlers, pulls Father Christmas sleigh and is made of cement?
I don't know.
A reindeer.
What about the cement?
I just threw that in to make it hard.
How do you know you have a great CPA?
He has a tax loophole named after him.
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Q: What do you call a terrorist attack in the Middle East?
A: A Selfie!
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