Joke #9648

Q: Why did God invent yeast infection? A: So women know what it feels like to live with an annoying c*nt.
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Question: How is a woman like a laxative? Answer: They both irritate the shit out of you.
Vote: has 49.61 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
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On Sunday little Johnny with his dad went for bathing. The ground was slippery. So poor boy for avoiding of knocking down grabbed his father's penis. His father smiled and told him: "Oh boy you are lucky. If you were with your mother you were concussion!"
Vote: has 63.81 % from 74 votes. Send joke:
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A chubbier woman: "Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?" Mirror: "Kindly move aside. I can't see anything."
Vote: has 68.63 % from 29 votes. Send joke:
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A man came up with a new invention, a vibrating tampon. That way a woman can be at her best when she is at her worst.
Vote: has 60.75 % from 216 votes. Send joke:
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On a farm out in the country lived a man and a woman and their three sons. Early one morning, the woman awoke, and while looking out of the window onto to the pasture, she saw that the family’s only cow was lying dead in the field. The situation looked hopeless to her-how could she possibly continue to feed her family now? In a depressed state of mind, she hung herself. When the man awoke to find his wife dead, as well as the cow, he too began to see the hopelessness of the situation, and he shot himself in the head. Now the oldest son woke up to discover his parents dead (and the cow!), and he decided to go down to the river and drown himself. When he got to the river, he discovered a mermaid sitting on the bank. She said,”I’ve seen all and know the reason for your despair. But if you will have sex with me five times in a row, then I will restore your parents and the cow to you.” The son agreed to try, but after four times, he was simply unable to get it up again. So the mermaid drowned him in the river. Next the second oldest son woke up. After discovering what had happened, he too decided to throw himself into the river. The mermaid said to him, “If you will have sex with me ten times in a row, then I will make everything right.” And while the son tried his best (seven times!), it was not enough to satisfy the mermaid, so she drowned him in the river. The youngest son woke up and saw his parents dead, the dead cow in the field, and his brothers gone. He decided that life was a hopeless prospect, and he went down to the river to throw himself in. And there he also met the mermaid. “I have seen all that has happened, and I can make everything right if you will only have sex with me fifteen times in a row.” The young son replied, “Is that all? Why not twenty times in a row?” The mermaid was somewhat taken aback by this request. Then he said, “Hell, why not twenty-five times in a row?” And even as she was reluctantly agreeing to his request, he said, “Why not THIRTY times in a row?” Finally, she said, “Enough!! Okay, if you will have sex with me thirty times in a row, then I will bring everybody back to perfect health.” Then the young son asked, “Wait! How do I know that thirty times in a row won’t kill you like it did the cow?”
Vote: has 84.63 % from 381 votes. Send joke:
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Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying? For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
Vote: has 36.09 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
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Q: Why did this woman cross the road? A: Because I was not fast enough to hit her.
Vote: has 57.16 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
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What is the difference between men and women? A woman wants a man to satisfy their every little need. A man wants all the women to satisfy their one and only little need.
Vote: has 75.27 % from 27 votes. Send joke:
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Everyone says the world would be better off if it was run by women. Sure, maybe there wouldn't be violence and territorial conquests fueled by male testosterone. But instead, we'd have a bunch of jealous countries that aren't talking to each other.
Vote: has 70.70 % from 40 votes. Send joke:
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Alex an Aussie builder was going through a house he had just built for the woman who owned it. She was telling him what colour to paint each room. They went into the first room and she said "I want this room to be painted a light blue." The builder went to the front door and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!"  When he went back into the house, she told him that the next room was to be bright red. The builder went to the front door and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!"  When he went back into the house, she told him that the next room was to be tan. The builder went to the front door and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!"  When he came back, the lady was pretty curious, so she asked him "I keep telling you colours, but you go out the front and yell 'green side up' - what is that for?" The builder said, "Oh don't worry about that, I've just got a couple of Kiwi's laying the turf out front."
Vote: has 65.16 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: men, women, work