Joke #9544

"Does she have a boyfriend?" "Yes, a cute, strong and clever one." "What's the name?" "John, Michael and Bill."

I was drinking my coffee in a coffeehouse when a beautiful girl came near my table and asked me: "Are you alone?" So I responded: "It's a long time that I'm alone." "So do you mind me to take this chair?" said the girl. I fainted...

Boyfriend: Do you think my salary is sufficient for you? Girlfriend: It’s sufficient for me but how will you survive?

I've spent the past two years looking for my ex-girlfriend's killer... but no one will do it.

Mike: "Hey Joe. My girl friend always gets offended whenever I tell her jokes about bald people." Joe: "Is your girl friend bald?" Mike: "No. She"s a blonde."

Men wake up as good-looking as when they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

If I've invested precious time and energy in a relationship, and I've been honest and open, hanging and coping, true blue, a good screw, to some fly guy who's out constantly getting high, then I'm dumped suicide is not one of my thoughts. I'm thinking maybe homicide.

A very caring sentence written on the T-Shirt of a girl walking on the road. "You are not looking at the road right now, please be careful."

The fingers of my girlfriend were in my pants; I asked her "Is it thick?" She said "yes dear." Again I asked: "Is it warm?" She replied: "yes honey." Then I asked: "Is it soft?" She said, "yes of course." "It is my shit!" I told her.

A very distinguished lady was on a plane arriving from Switzerland. She found herself seated next to a nice priest whom she asked: "Excuse me Father, could I ask a favor?" "Of course my child, What can I do for you?" "Here is the problem, I bought myself a new sophisticated hair remover gadget for which I paid an enormous sum of money. I have really gone over the declaration limits and I am worried that they will confiscate it at customs. Do you think you could hide it under your cassock?" "Of course I could, my child, but you must realize that I can not lie." "You have such an honest face Father, I am sure they will not ask you any questions", and she gave him the 'hair remover'. The aircraft arrived at its destination. When the priest presented himself to customs he was asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?" "From the top of my head to my sash, I have nothing to declare, my son",he replied. Finding this reply strange, the customs officer asked, "And from the sash down, what do you have?" The priest replied, "I have there a marvelous little instrument designed for use by women, but which has never been used." Breaking out in laughter, the customs officer said, "Go ahead Father. Next!"

Q: Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? A: Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you.