Q: Why was Tigger's head in the toilet?
A: He was looking for pooh!
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Q: Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
A: Because then the children have to play inside.
A rattle snake bit Chuck Norris in the leg and the snake died instantly!
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What do you call a rabbit who works in a bakery?
A yeaster bunny.
A kangaroo mom with seven babies in her pouch told another kangaroo mom, "These sleepovers are killing me."
What's the difference between an old cat and a baby kitten?
An old cat scratches and bites but a little pussy never hurt anybody!
What do cows like to listen to?
Moo-sic.
Where did the mooron take the baby cow to eat?
To the calf-ateria.
A man had a party where all the rich people attend.
And the he had a pool with alligators.
So he announced that anyone who will swim across this pool and come out alive will be granted three wishes.
But no one wanted to go for the challenge.
All of a sudden, there was a big splash and a man was swimming like a hell and came out alive.
So the host asked, "What are your three wishes?"
The man replied, "Give me the shotgun and bulllets and show me the idiot that pushed me in..."
A waitress walks up to a man to take his order.
"I'd like to get the turtle soup, please."
The waitress walks off to go get his order, but the man changes his mind and decides he wants the pea soup instead.
"Hold the turtle, make it pea!"
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