Joke #9667

Q: Why was Tigger's head in the toilet? A: He was looking for pooh!
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has 61.37 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: animal

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How to you know that cows will be in heaven? It's a place of udder delight.
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Monahan stumbled into a saloon, half crocked. "Say," he said to the bartender, "how tall is a penguin?" "About two and a half feet." "Thank God!" cried Monahan. "I thought I ran over a nun!"
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has 78.47 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bartender, god
The priest in a small Irish village loved the rooster and ten hens he kept in the hen house behind the church. One Sunday morning, before mass, he went to feed the birds and discovered that the cock was missing. He knew about cock fights in the village, so he questioned his parishioners in church. During mass, he asked the congregation, 'Has anybody got a cock?  All the men stood up. 'No, no,' he said, 'that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock?'  All the women stood up.  'No, no,' he said, 'that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock that doesn' t belong to them?'  Half the women stood up.  'No, no,' he said, 'that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen MY cock?'  Sixteen altar boys, two priests and a goat stood up. The priest fainted.
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has 79.75 % from 861 votes. More jokes about: animal, church, priest, sex, time
What to polar bears eat for lunch? (Ice berg-ers!)
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has 22.04 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal
Chuck Norris likes his meat rare, so he eats unicorns.
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has 40.24 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, food
What's the important part of a horse? The manr part.
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter. Mother: "What does the cow say?" Child: "Moo!" Mother: "Great! What does the cat say?" Child: "Meow." Mother: "Oh, you're so smart! What does the frog say?" And this wide-eyed little 3 year-old looked up at her mother and in her deepest voice replied, "Bud."
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has 28.45 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: age, animal, kids
Little Billy sits on his neighbour fence. After a while he asks surprised: Sir, how come your pig has only tree legs? Because I used only one leg for the stock.
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has 13.14 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: animal
What is the most famous shark? William Sharkspeare.
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
DEA officer stops at a ranch in Texas, and talks with an old rancher.. He tells the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for ill*gally grown dr*gs." The rancher says, "Okay , but do not go in that field over there," as he points out the location. The DEA officer verbally explodes saying, "Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me." Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removes his badge and proudly displays it to the rancher. "See this badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish.... On any land.. No questions asked or answers given. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand? " The rancher nods politely, apologizes, and goes about his chores. A short time later, the old rancher hears loud screams and sees the DEA officer running for his life chased by the rancher's big Santa Gertrudis Bull... With every step the bull is gaining ground on the officer, and it seems likely that he'll get gored before he reaches safety. The officer is clearly terrified. The rancher throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs... "Your badge... Show him your badge!"
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has 87.02 % from 622 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop, drug, life