Q: Why was Tigger's head in the toilet? A: He was looking for pooh!
Why are cows made for dancing? They re all born hoofers.
Tow millipedes went for honey moon. The male one asked: "My darling, between which feet is your pussy, please?"
Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk lying in the road and a dead lawyer lying in the road? A: There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
Did you hear about the Irishman who couldn't tell the difference between his two horses? His friend suggested measuring them, that didn't help though, the Irishman discovered that the brown horse was only an inch taller than the white one!
You momma so stupid I see her walking the pigs down the street I'd asked "What she doing?" And she said "Going piggy back riding"!
Q: Why do beavers spend a fortune on the Internet? A: They never want to log off.
Where do Russian cows come from? Moscow.
You can lead a horse to water, but Chuck Norris can make it drink.
A man walks into his house with a duck under his arm. He walks up to his wife with it and says, "This is the pig I've been f*cking'." His wife says, "That's a duck." He quickly replies, "I wasn't talking to you."
In what type of weather is the vet the busiest? When its raining cats and dogs.