Q: Why was Tigger's head in the toilet?
A: He was looking for pooh!
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Q: What do you get when 100 rabbits stand in a row and 99 take a step back?
A: A receding hare line.
Two snakes are talking.
One of them turns to the other and asks, "Are we venomous?"
The other replays, "Yes,why?..."
"I just bit ma lip."
Have you read the book, "100-mile Horse Trek" Who wrote it?
Major Bumsore.
Q: What do you call a car only British animals can drive?
A: OxFord.
Did you hear about the man who received a tip on a horse called Cigarette?
He didn't have enough money tabaccer!
The Karate Kid killed caught a fly with two chopsticks, Chuck Norris killed a rhino with one.
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A rich 40 year-old American woman decided to get married, but she wanted her husband to be a virgin and to never had been with a woman all of his life.
After some years of pointless searching, she didn’t found anyone with this description and forced to give an ad to the paper.
A month later, she met with an Australian man who had never been with a woman before in his life and she married him immediately.
On the first night of their wedding and before they lay down, she went for a quick fresh up and then went back to the bedroom, happy.
When she entered the room she stood steal...
She saw her husband naked to the center of the room and all the furniture on the corner of the room.
"But.. What happened?" asked the woman obviously shocked.
"Look.. I’ve never been with a woman, but if it’s the same as with the kangaroo, then I’ll need the whole room to catch you!"
Chuck Norris doesn't play dead for bears, bears play dead for Chuck Norris.
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A beautiful princess comes upon a frog in a meadow near her castle.
The frog hops into the princess' lap and says, "My lady, one kiss from you, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I once was, and then, my sweet, we can marry and set-up housekeeping in yon castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children and forever be happy doing so."
That night, as the princess dines on lightly sauteed frog legs, she chuckles to herself, "I don't f**kin' think so."