Why did Bossy tell the cowpoke to leave her calf alone?
She thought children should be seen and not herded!
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Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?
Because from a distance they looked like hares.
Q: What do you call a dog with no legs?
A: Doesn't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.
Why did President Clinton name his dog Buddy instead of Spot?
Because he didn't want people running around the White House saying, "come Spot, come Spot!"
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What did the baby dolphin do when he didn't get his way?
He whale-d.
The Karate Kid killed caught a fly with two chopsticks, Chuck Norris killed a rhino with one.
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A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady.
He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he'd lost his cigarettes.
In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump.
''No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes,'' he said to himself.
He proceeded to get out his hammer and flattened the hump.
As he was cleaning up, the lady came in.
''Here,'' she said, handling him his pack of cigarettes. ''I found them in the hallway.''
''Now,'' she said, ''if only I could find my parakeet.''
What did one dairy cow say to another?
Got milk?
What happens when the cows refuse to be milked?
Udder chaos.