Why did Bossy tell the cowpoke to leave her calf alone?
She thought children should be seen and not herded!
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How do you go about hiring a horse?
Try two pairs of stilts!
What happens when the cows refuse to be milked?
Udder chaos.
A lion woke up one morning feeling really rowdy and mean.
He went out and cornered a small monkey and roared,
"Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?"
The trembling monkey says, "You are, mighty lion!
Later, the lion confronts a ox and fiercely bellows,
"Who is the mightiest of all jungle animals?"
The terrified ox stammers, "Oh great lion, you are the mightiest animal in the jungle!"
On a roll now, the lion swaggers up to an elephant and roars,
"Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?"
Fast as lightning, the elephant snatches up the lion with his trunk, slams him against a tree half a dozen times leaving the lion feeling like it'd been run over by a safari wagon.
The elephant then stomps on the lion till it looks like a corn tortilla and ambles away.
The lion lets out a moan of pain, lifts his head weakly and hollers after the elephant -
"Just because you don't know the answer, you don't have to get so upset about it!"
How did cows feel when the branding iron was invented?
They were very impressed.
Chuck Norris can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass.
At Night.
Vote:
Kangaroo 911: "What's your emergency?"
Kangaroo: "I can't find my children"
Kangaroo 911: "Did you check your pockets?"
Kangaroo: "Oh nevermind."
Vote:
What should a rabbit use to keep his fur neat?
A harebrush.
Two flies sit on a pile of poop.
One fly passes gas.
The other fly looks at him and says, "Hey do you mind? I'm eating here."
Vote:
Q: What is height of De-hydration?
A: A cow giving milk powder.