Why did Bossy tell the cowpoke to leave her calf alone?
She thought children should be seen and not herded!
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I saw some ducks practicing their teenage girl faces at the pond today.
Yo' Mama is like a donkey: everybody rides the ass.
If it looks like chicken tastes like chicken and smells like chicken and Chuck Norris says it's beef then it's beef.
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Turtle to turtle: "Don't ya just love the sound of rain on your roof?"
What do you call a dinosaur that destroys everything in its path?
Tyrannosaurus Wrecks.
What do you if you're trapped inside a whale?
Run round and round till you're all pooped out!
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A man bought a dachshund for his six children so they’d have a dog they could all pet at once.
Q: What's the difference between a porcupine and a lambrogini?
A: Procupines have pricks on the outside.
An old lady was considering buying a squirrel fur coat.
"But will it be all right in the rain?" she asked anxiously.
"Oh certainly, ma am," said the manager smoothly.
"After all, you've never seen a squirrel with an umbrella have you?"
A tourist is in Spain, and goes to a fancy restaurant for dinner.
As he looks around, he notices a diner being served a beautifully garnished dish with two gigantic meatballs in the middle.
When the waiter asks him for his order, the man asks him about the meatball dish.
The waiter explains that the meatballs are bull's testicles, and when the bull loses the bullfight, the bull is brought to the restaurant, and this beautiful dish is made.
The diner tells the waiter that he wants the bulls testicles for dinner, but the waiter tells him that only one bull a day is brought to the restaurant, but he can have it tommorrow.
The diner agrees.
The next day the diner goes to the restaurant, and orders the testicle dish.
When his food is brought out, he notices that the meatballs are extremely small.
He mentions this to the waiter, and the waiter replies: "Well sir you have to understand, sometimes the bull wins".