Joke #10028

Why did Bossy tell the cowpoke to leave her calf alone?  She thought children should be seen and not herded!

Cats are allergic to Chuck Norris.

Yo Mamma so stupid she put on bug spray before she goes to the flee market!

I once had a goldfish that could break-dance on a carpet, but only for like 20 seconds.

Little Johnny: „Mom, can I get a dog at Christmas, please?"  Mother: „No, you'll be getting turkey, like every year!"

Hercules strangled two snakes in his crib when he was a baby. Chuck Norris strangled a grizzly bear moments after birth with his own umbilical cord.

What did the slug say as he slipped down the window very fast? How slime flies.

A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race appear?" The mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so was all mankind made.." Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.. The father answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved." The confused girl returned to her mother and said, "Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?" The mother answered, "Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his."

A man walks into his house with a duck under his arm. He walks up to his wife with it and says, "This is the pig I've been f*cking'." His wife says, "That's a duck." He quickly replies, "I wasn't talking to you."

Chuck Norris was mauled by a bear once, then the bear woke up and apologized.

Q:Where do you find giant snails? A:On the ends of their fingers.