Why did Bossy tell the cowpoke to leave her calf alone?
She thought children should be seen and not herded!
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Where do you find a down-and-out octopus?
On squid row.
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
There was a man driving a pickup truck down a country road, when suddenly he was broad sided by a trailer truck.
Some time went by, and the case got to court.
The defense attorney said to the plaintiff, "How can you be suing my client now when you told a trooper after the accident that you felt fine?"
The man replied. "Well sir, it was like this. We was driving down the road, minding our own business, when a big trailer truck came out of nowhere and creamed us. When I came to, I was in the ditch, and a trooper was pulling up with his car. He looked at the hogs, and they was most dead, so he shot them. Then he looked at my dog, and he was hurt real bad, so he shot him."
Then he came over to me and he said, "How you feeling?"
I said, "I never felt better in my life."
What did the dog say to the hot dog bun?
"Are you pure bred?"
What do you get when you cross a frog and a rabbit?
A rabbit that says, "Ribbit."
Do you know the difference between a postal box and a monkey's arse?
Well if you don't know I will never ask you to post a letter for me.
How do you make a cat be a dog?
Pour gasoline on it and light it with a match.
It will go 'WOOF.'
What do a walrus and Tupperware have in common?
They both like a tight seal.
Some say Chuck once sneezed a rhino inside out.
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