Why did Bossy tell the cowpoke to leave her calf alone? She thought children should be seen and not herded!
What do frogs do with paper? Rip-it!
Chuck Norris doesn't sleep with a teddy bear. He sleeps with a real bear.
An eagle swoops down from the sky and eats a mouse. Three hours later, while the eagle is flying, the mouse sticks its head out of the eagle's butt and asks, "How high up are we?" "About 2,000 feet," the eagle replies. The mouse replies, "You ain't sh*ttin' me, are you?"
Why didn't the teddy bear eat his lunch? (Because he was stuffed!)
How do you know when you re eating rabbit stew? When it has hares in it.
What are the most athletic rodents? Track and field mice.
Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris. After 5 days of extreme pain...the snake died.
Chuck Norris can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At Night.
What did the slug say as he slipped down the window very fast? How slime flies.
Q: What is a zebra? A: A horse behind bars.