Why did Bossy tell the cowpoke to leave her calf alone? She thought children should be seen and not herded!
Mama Raptor and Papa Raptor were in court getting a divorce and the judge offered Baby Raptor a choice of which parent to live with. JUDGE: "Do you want to live with your mother?" BABY RAPTOR: "No! She beats me." JUDGE: "OK, then you can live with your father." BABY RAPTOR: "No! He beats me too!" JUDGE: "Well you have to live with someone. Who do you want to live with?" BABY RAPTOR: "I want to live with my Aunt Bertha in Toronto." JUDGE: "Is there any chance she'll beat you also?" BABY RAPTOR: "No sir. The Toronto Raptors don't beat anybody."
What do you call a cow on the barnyard floor? Ground Beef.
How many skunks do you need to make a house really smelly? Just a phew.
Your mom's so dumb, she threw the dog and told the stick to fetch!
Little Johnny: „Mom, can I get a dog at Christmas, please?" Mother: „No, you'll be getting turkey, like every year!"
Three blondes were walking through a field when they came across a set of tracks. The first blonde looked down at the tracks and said, "I think they could be bird tracks." The second blonde went to look and said, "No, I think these are deer tracks." They stepped aside and the third blonde went over to the tracks. She looked down, then got run over by the train!
What's a moo hoo for a bunch of weirdo cattle? A nerd herd.
Cat's motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it.
Q: Why do hippos have to have sex in water? A: Ever try to keep two tons of pussy wet?
What happened to the man who tried to cross a lioin with a goat? He had to get a new goat.