It is convenient to be near a hospital when you are injured. It is also convenient to insult Chuck Norris while standing in an open grave.
A funeral service is held for a woman who just passed away. As the pallbearers carry the casket out, they accidentally bump into a wall. They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive. She lives for 10 more years and then dies. They have another funeral for her. At the end of the service, the pallbearers carry out the casket. As they are walking, the husband cries out, "Watch out for the wall!"
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.
Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris. After 5 days of extreme pain...the snake died.
Chuck Norris once heard that nothing can kill him, so he tracked down nothing and killed it.
Chuck Norris knows how to kill you in more ways than you know how to die.
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself
Chuck norris once killed a bear with an imaginary knife.
You might kill two birds with one stone, but Chuck Norris kills two stones with one bird.