Joke #9786

What do an airport and a illegal abortion have in common? The Hanger.
Vote:
has 59.83 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: airplane, black humor

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

This is Captain Sinclair speaking. On behalf of my crew I'd like to welcome you aboard British Airways flight 602 from New York to London. We are currently flying at a height of 35,000 feet midway across the Atlantic. If you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the aircraft, you will observe that both the starboard engines are on fire. If you look out of the windows on the port side, you will observe that the port wing has fallen off. If you look down towards the Atlantic ocean, you will see a little yellow life raft with three people in it waving at you. That's me your captain, the co-pilot, and one of the air stewardesses. This is a recorded message. Have a good flight!
Vote:
has 84.91 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: airplane, black humor, death, morbid, travel
My skydiving instructor would always take the time to answer any of our stupid first-timer questions. One guy asked, "If our chute doesn't open, and the reserve doesn't open, how long do we have until we hit the ground?" Our jump master looked at him and in perfect deadpan and answered, "The rest of your life."
Vote:
has 84.45 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: airplane, black humor, life, time
Don't make 9/11 jokes, my dad died at the twin towers. The best damn pilot in Saudi Arabia.
Vote:
has 78.80 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: airplane, black humor, morbid
Three gay men died, and were going to be cremated. Their lovers happened to be at the funeral home at the same time, and were discussing what they planned to do with the ashes. The first man said, "My Ryan loved to fly, so I'm going up in a plane and scatter his ashes in the sky." The second man said, "My Ross was a good fisherman, so I'm going to scatter his ashes in our favorite lake." The third man said, "My Jack was such a good lover, I think I'm going to dump his ashes in a pot of chili, so he can tear my ass up just one more time."
Vote:
has 68.27 % from 177 votes. More jokes about: airplane, black humor, death, funeral, gay
Me: "Here comes the airplane!" Baby: Opens mouth. Me: "OH NO! It's the Taliban!" Hits baby in the forehead with the spoon. "KA-BOOM"
Vote:
has 61.01 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: airplane, baby, black humor
There were four people on a plane. One of them, the Pilot. The other was the president of the United States –Obama, The oldest man in the world, and a little boy. The plane was about to crash and the only option for survival was to jump! But there were only three parachutes. The Pilot took a parachute and said, "I'm the pilot, so I should get a parachute." And he jumped off. Then Obama grabs a and jumps saying, "Since I'm the president, I get one too!" And he jumps. The little boy then grabs a parachute and hands it to the old man. The man declines, saying, "No, boy, take it. I'm too old anyway." The boy answers, "What? No! Obama took my back-pack!"
Vote:
has 56.50 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: age, airplane, black humor, political, stupid
There are 3 men on a plane a Mexican an American and a Russian the Mexican says "I hate my country!" And throughs a soup out the window the American says "I hate my country" and throughs a pie out the window. The Russian says "I hate my country!" And throughs a bomb out the window. Then the plane lands and the Mexican sees a kid crying the Mexican says "what's wrong kid?" The kid says "a soup fell on my mom's head and she burnt to death." "I didn't do that" says the Mexican. The American was walking and saw a kid crying "what's wrong kid?" The kid says "my mom was driving and a pie fell on her windshield and drove off a cliff cause she couldn't see!" "I didn't do that" says the American. Then the Russian gets off the plane and saw a kid laughing his head off. The Russian says "what's so funny?" The kid says " daddy farted and the house went BOOM BOOM!"
Vote:
has 50.88 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: airplane, black humor, kids, mexican, travel
Europe to Iceland: Why did you send us volcanic ash? Our airspace has shut down. Iceland: What? That's what you asked for isn't it? Europe: NO! We said cash! CASH! Iceland: Woooops...
Vote:
has 47.46 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: airplane, black humor
How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them.
Vote:
has 50.59 % from 165 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, disgusting
Q: What happened to Jesus when he said "Catch me outside, how bout dat"? A: He got crucified
Vote:
has 47.21 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: black humor, christian, communication, death