What do you call hemorrhoids on a fag? Speed bumps.
Q: Why are gays so happy? A: Becuase the luck does not have the courage turning back to them.
What do you call a truck full of dildos? Toys for Twats.
Construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw. So he spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can't hear him. So the worker on the 5th floor tries sign language. He pointed to his eye meaning "I", pointed to his knee meaning "need", then moved his hand back and forth in a hand saw motion. The man on the ground floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, whips out his chop and starts masturbating. The worker on 5th floor gets so pissed off he runs down to the ground floor and says, "What the fuck is your problem!!! I said I needed a hand saw!". The other guy says, "I knew that! I was just trying to tell you - I'm coming!"
Imagine being completely naked in room full of people who speak a different language and everyone wants to touch you... This is life of a dog.
Q: What bounces and makes kids cry? A: My donation cheque to Children in Need.
Two couples decide to spend the weekend away together at a posh hotel. When they get there, one guy suggests they indulge in partner-swapping as a trial. After 2 hours of solid sex by the fireside, the guy turned to his new partner and said, "Wow! This is the very best sex I've had in years! I wonder how the girls are doing?"
Q: Why are politicians like diapers? A: Both should be changed regularly and for the same reason.
Accordion to research, 9 out of 10 people don't notice when you replace words with random musical instruments.
Q: Why did the gay man get fired from his job at the sperm bank? A: Drinking on the job.