What's the best way to make a bull sweat?
Put him in a tight jumper !
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Chuck Norris isn't a cat person but if he was, he would own 3 lions, a snow leopard, and cougar.
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Yo' Mama is so fat, she tried to eat her chicken pox.
How do you start a teddy bear race?
Ready, teddy, go.
Curiosity didn't kill the cat.
Chuck Norris did.
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What gives milk and has a horn?
A milk tank.
The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range.
Three weeks later, a donkey walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth.
The cowboy couldn't believe his eyes.
He took the precious book out of the donkey's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!"
"Not really," said the donkey.
"Your name is written inside the cover."
How does a cow do math?
With a cowculator.
Q: What animal could Noah not trust?
A: Cheetah.
A man walks into his bedroom after work and is surprised to find his wife lying naked on the bed.
After careful examination, he spies a pair of bare feet sticking out from underneath the curtains.
He rips open the blinds to find a naked man standing there.
"Who the hell are you?" he yells.
The naked guy replies, "I'm the moth inspector."
"Oh, yeah? What are you doing naked?"
He looks down and exclaims, "Oh my God, I'm too late!"
A waitress walks up to a man to take his order.
"I'd like to get the turtle soup, please."
The waitress walks off to go get his order, but the man changes his mind and decides he wants the pea soup instead.
"Hold the turtle, make it pea!"
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