Had a fight with an erection this morning. I beat it single handedly.
I have asked my mamma: "Mamma, why do we have 10 cock birds but only 1 hen?" Mama has said to me: "Because I want that she has a better life than I had."
Three policemen are sitting in a car. Bored, as cards and domino make them sick already. On thinks of an idea: Guys, lets play golf. All we need is a stick, ball and a hole. I can arrange a stick, – one says. I will get a ball, - adds another. Guys, I’m not playing this dirty game, - says the third one.
Q: What do gay guys have in common with bungee jumpers? A: If the rubber breaks, they're in deep shit!
Q: How can you tell if a lawyer is well hung? A: You can't get a finger between the rope and his neck!
Baby, if you were an iPhone 6, I would tap you all day!
A guy went to an electric shop and said: "By a lot of excuse, do you mind me to buy a lamp please?" A manager said: "It isn't necessarily so much apologizes for buying a lamp." The guy said: "Sorry I wanted for installing it in WC."
I stopped a girl in the street last night and handed her a rape alarm and some pepper spray. She looked confused and said, "What are these for?" I started unbuttoning my jeans and replied, "I like a challenge."
Q: What do you call a blonde at a golf course? A: The 19th hole.
My girlfriend has incredible sexual skills. I almost had a heart attack when I saw the video!