The best jokes about life

Q: What do you get if you cross a nun and a chicken? A: A pecking order.
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has 68.80 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: bird, life, religious
Q: Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? A: Cause it got stuck in a crack.
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has 68.66 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: life
What do you call an intelligent man in America? A tourist.
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has 68.63 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: life, travel
Jesus said to John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." He came fifth and received a toaster.
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has 68.60 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, life
I'm actually glad that 2 Chainz mentions his name at the begin of every song. It gives me time to change the radio station.
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has 68.56 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: life, music
"I really don’t know girl, but I don’t believe in love at first sight!" "Why?" "Because... How can you tell if the man has a good salary at the first sight?"
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has 68.45 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: life, love
Big inspection on a build site/yard. The boss tells the workers : what ever happens just act as usual. The inspection committee were inspecting when a wall just colapses. -(Worker looking at his watch) : 10:15, just on time
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has 68.45 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: life, time, work
Q: How do you find Ronald McDonald in a nudist colony? A: Look for sesame seed buns.
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has 68.45 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, life
"Do you know what the difference is between toilet paper and a shower curtain?" "No" "So, it was you!"
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has 68.38 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: insulting, life
An alien lord lands in the middle of the desert and demands to see the ruler of all this planet and make it bow to his will, except he made two grave mistakes, first he landed in the middle of the desert, in the middle of the night and second he didn't know anything about the inhabitants. So he approaches the first life form he finds which was a gas pump and demands it to take him to the leader. Well it's a gas pump so it doesn't say anything obviously, getting aggravated he demands again but this time pulls his laser pistol and says "This is the last time I ask earthling!" Just then his general whispers to him "Hey calm down buddy don't mess with this guy, he's a badass motherfucker". Shrugging off his comrade he furiously demands a response and after brief moments of silence, he blasts the pump and BOOM! A huge explosion occurs and they land a mile away. As they sit there dusting themselves off the alien lord looks at the general and asks "We have conquered the cosmos and all sorts of life forms, I've never seen you sweat in the face of an adversary, how did you know this guy was such a badass motherfucker?" The general looks over and says "Man if you could wrap your dick around your body 3 times and then plug it in your ear, you are a badass motherfucker."
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has 68.15 % from 117 votes. More jokes about: death, desert island, life, morbid, vulgar
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