Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence–a life sentence.
Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached.
Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind.
Marriage is a thing which puts a ring on a woman's finger and two under the man's eyes.
Marriage requires a man to prepare 4 types of "rings":
* The Engagement Ring
* The Wedding Ring
* The Suffe-Ring
* The Endu-Ring
Boy while kissing his girlfriend: "Thank u baby... For give me your chewing gum.."
Girl says, "This is not chewing gum my love. I’m suffering from cough!"
Vote:
"What is love, at last?" asks the dentist.
And the cardiologist: "Love is a toothache.. but inside the heart!"
The travelin' Texan picked up a sweet young thang in a bar and after several rounds, ordered the biggest steaks they had.
Later, they retired to his room, naturally the largest in the hotel.
As they undressed, he said, "I'm from Fort Worth, Texas, and we have the biggest of everything."
The girl only nodded and smiled.
As they began to make love, he exclaimed, "Golleeeee, lil' Lady! What part of Texas y'all from?"
There were two guys at a gym Dan and Mike who hit the showers after a hard morning workout.
Dan said to Mike "Hey! Have you heard? That there is a gay guy at our gym today."
The Mike looking really curious and replies "Oh? Who do you think he is?"
Dan looks at Mike from mid-section to eye level and, says "Let me give you a kiss first before I tell you who."
There were once these two blondes who were sitting around bored and alone one day.
They noticed an article in the paper where they were selling bird dogs.
Well they had heard that dogs make excellent companions so they went out to buy one.
They brought the dog home and fell instantly in love with him.
They had heard somewhere that bird dogs were smart and good at what they do.
So the two blondes decided to take the dog outside and watch him do what he is was so good at doing.
They tried it out a couple of times, but the blondes came off more disappointed than amazed at what the dog could do.
Finally one of the blondes was sick and tired of waiting, she suddenly shouted out: "THAT’S IT! We’ll give this dog one more chance. We’ll throw him up in the air one more time and if he doesn’t fly we’re taking him back to the STORE!"
Once upon a time, my wife and I were in the local restaurant.
We have talked to each other, but after a while, I have become quiet and then I started to talk, I have said: "you know, I love you so much, I will never leave you, never, ever, every single day I think only of you, we will be always together."
My wife has asked me: "Oh, darling, these words were addressed to me?"
I have said only: "Oh, no, sorry, darling, this time I am talking to this bottle of beer."
What country do cows love to visit?
Moo Zealand.
Why do orphans like playing tennis?
Because it's the only love they get.
Vote:
Did you hear about the man who ate nothing but oats every day?
He fell in love with the Grand National winner!