I just love to do special things for my wife on Valentine's day.
Like open the door for her when she puts all the laundry in the washing machine, or plug and unplug the vacuum as she moves from room to room cleaning.
Guys, it's these little thoughtful things you can do to have a marriage such as mine.
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Turtle to turtle: "Don't ya just love the sound of rain on your roof?"
"Hi Liz! How's the big love of yours, James?"
"It's over!"
"Over? Why, what happened?"
"We got married..."
An elderly retired couple went to a doctor.
The man said, "We want to know if we are making love properly.
Will you look at us?" "Go ahead," said the doctor. They made love.
"You are making love perfectly," the doctor said.
"That will be $10."
They came back six weeks in a row and did the same thing.
On the seventh visit the doctor said, "What are you coming here like this for - I told you that you are making love properly!"
"She can't come to my house," said the man, "and I can't go to her house.
A motel costs $20.
You charge us $10 and we get $8 back from Medicare."
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Do you believe in love at first set?
Or should I curl this barbell another 10 times?
A fireman comes home from work one day and tells his wife, "We have a wonderful system at the fire station: Bell 1 rings, we put on our jackets; Bell 2 rings, we slide down the pole; Bell 3 rings, we're on the trucks. From now on, we're going to run this house the same way. When I say Bell 1, I want you to strip naked. When I say Bell 2, I want you to jump into bed. When I say Bell 3, we're going to make passionate love."
The next night, the fireman comes home from work and yells, "Bell 1!" His wife takes off her clothes.
"Bell 2," and his wife jumps into bed.
"Bell 3," and they began to make love.
After two minutes, his wife yells, "Bell 4!"
"What's Bell 4?" the husband asks.
"More hose," she replies, "you're nowhere near the fire!"
Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not kill.
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HOW did an Intelligent BOY PROPOSE to a Girl.
He TOOK the Girl ALONG with him on a BOAT & in the MIDDLE of River said: "LOVE ME or LEAVE the BOAT."
The girl says to the guy; "Honest to God, tell me what you think... Can anyone love me?"
"Yeah, for sure..."
"And then... What are you waiting for...?"
Boy while kissing his girlfriend: "Thank u baby... For give me your chewing gum.."
Girl says, "This is not chewing gum my love. I’m suffering from cough!"
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