The best love jokes

A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'" "But why?" asks the man. "I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.
has 44.46 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, love, Valentines day
What famous painting do cows love to look at? The Moona Lisa.
has 43.90 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, celebrity, love
Love is one way to get to a persons heart the other is Chuck Norris' fists.
has 43.52 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, love
Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not kill.
has 41.89 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, love
A worm gets out from cherry compote and, after he stretches a little, says satisfied: I love sauna!
has 41.85 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, love
A friend of mine often tells to his wife: "It is better to be loved and almost the only one rather than to be the only one and almost loved…"
has 41.84 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: love, marriage, wife
HOW did an Intelligent BOY PROPOSE to a Girl. He TOOK the Girl ALONG with him on a BOAT & in the MIDDLE of River said: "LOVE ME or LEAVE the BOAT."
has 39.81 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: love, marriage
I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man. Love, To forgive him and; Patience, For his moods. Because if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death.
has 39.21 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: death, love, women
Why does a man like love at first sight? It saves them a lot of time.
has 36.90 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: love, men, time
Jill and John got married. John thought this would be a "marriage of the 90's" -- equal roles for equal partners. So, the first morning back from their honeymoon, he brought Jill breakfast in bed. Jill wasn't impressed with his culinary skills, however. She looked disdainfully at the tray, and snorted, "Poached? I wanted scrambled!" Undaunted, the next morning, John brought his true love a scrambled egg. Jill wasn't having any of it. "Do you think I don't like variety? I wanted poached this morning!"
has 35.66 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: love, marriage
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