Love is one way to get to a persons heart the other is Chuck Norris' fists.
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Everybody loves Raymond. Except for Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not kill.
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Chuck Norris kissed a girl once.
She's still blushing, we call her Sun.
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Why does a man like love at first sight?
It saves them a lot of time.
Chuck Norris cleans up crime... with a mop and bucket... full of people's blood.
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Chuck Norris narrates Morgan Freemans life
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Chuck Norris is the only man to punch a cyclops between the eyes.
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Susan was having a tough day and after returning home she started complaining.
She said to her husband, "Nobody loves me….nobody cares for me..the whole world hates me!"
Her husband, watching TV said casually: "That’s not true dear. You are not that famous that whole world hates you. Some people don’t even know you."
How to Impress a Woman:
compliment her,
kiss her,
caress her,
love her,
comfort her,
protect her,
hold her,
spend money on her,
wine & dine her,
listen to her,
stand by her,
support her,
go to the ends of the earth for her.
How to Impress a Man:
show up naked,
bring beer.
Three women were in a bar talking about their husbands and how they made love.
The first woman said, “My husband is a psychologist, and before we make love, he brings me flowers and candy. I like that.”
The second woman proclaimed, “My husband is a mechanic, he makes love a little rough, but really tunes my engine; I like that!”
The third woman replied, “Well my husband works for Microsoft and all he does is sit on the edge of the bed and tell me how good it’s going to be, when I finally get it…”