Love is one way to get to a persons heart the other is Chuck Norris' fists.
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Everybody loves Raymond. Except for Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not kill.
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Chuck Norris kissed a girl once.
She's still blushing, we call her Sun.
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Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
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Do you believe in love at first sight, or do I have to walk by again?
My great grandson's class were asked to make a mothers day card for their mothers.
On mothers day he presented this beautiful hand made a card to his mum...
Hearts and kisses and wishing her Happy Mums Day on opening the card printed in bold letters was "DADS THE BEST"...
Needless to say, his mum still loves him.
It is better to give than to receive.
This is especially true of a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
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A couple returns from their honeymoon refusing to speak to each other.
The groom's best friend takes him aside and asks what's wrong.
"Well," replies the man, "when we finished making love on the first night, I put a $50 bill on the pillow without thinking."
"Oh, you shouldn't worry about that too much," says his friend.
"I'm sure your wife will get over it soon enough. She can't expect you to have been saving yourself all these years."
"That's not the problem, " the groom says. "She gave me $20 change!"
Coffee doesn't wake up Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris wakes coffee up.
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A man says to his wife, "I fancy kinky sex, how about I blow my load in your ear?"
The wife hastily replies, "No, I might go deaf!"
To which the man replies, "I've been shooting my love wads in your mouth for the last 20 years and you're still fucking talking aren't you?"