Love is one way to get to a persons heart the other is Chuck Norris' fists.
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Everybody loves Raymond. Except for Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not kill.
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Chuck Norris kissed a girl once.
She's still blushing, we call her Sun.
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When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay:
"What is courage?" He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.
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Chuck Norris is who killed Kenny.
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Do you know why Chuck Norris doesn't have a shadow?
You just don't follow him that close!
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"Honey, on this Valentine's Day, I want to tell you something... I'm not rich like Jack, I don't have a mansion like Russell, or I don't have a Porsche like Martin, but I do love you and want to marry you."
"Oh, dear... I love you too... but, what was that you said about Martin?"
Chuck Norris made time wait.
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A worm gets out from cherry compote and, after he stretches a little, says satisfied:
I love sauna!
One day two very loving parents got into a huge fight, the man called the women a "bitch" and the women called the man a "bastard".
Their son walked in and said "What does bitch and bastard mean?" and the parents replied "ladies and gentlemen".
The next day the parents decided to have sex, the women said "feel my titties" and the man said "feel my dick".
Their son walked in and asked "What does titties and dick mean?" and the parents replied "hats and coats".
On Thanksgiving the dad was shaving and he cut himself, "Shit" he said, the kid came in and asked "What's that mean" and the man said it was the brand shaving cream he was using.
Down stairs the mom was preparing the turkey, and she cut herself, "Fuck" she said.
Once again the kid asked "What's that mean" the mom said that is what she calls stuffing the turkey.
Then the door bell rang.
The kid answered the door to his relatives and said "Alright you bitches and bastards, put your dicks and titties in the closet, my dad is upstairs wiping the shit off his face, and my mom is in the kitchen fucking the turkey!