The best medical jokes

This lady is on an airplane and is seated next to a man named Ian McKegney. About half an hour after they take off, Ian sneezed. He calmly opened his fly, took out his penis and wiped it with a handkerchief. The lady was shocked but a little too shy to say anything. About 15 minutes later, Ian sneezed again and then once more opened his fly, grabbed his penis and wiped it off. The lady could not beleive it, and being to shy to mention it, she thought to herself, "If he does that again, I'm definitely going to mention it." Well, guess what? About 10 minutes later, Ian sneezed again and proceeded as before. She turned to Ian and said, "That is disgusting! Must you do that in front of me?" Ian apologized and explained that it was a medical condition, "Every time I sneeze, I have an orgasm," he explained. "Really, what do you take for that?" she asked. Ian replied, "Pepper."
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has 75.34 % from 130 votes. More jokes about: airplane, dirty, food, medical, time
A stranger walks up to an Egyptian man at the Cairo bazaar and offers to sell him contraband Viagra for 100 Egyptian pounds. The Egyptian man says, "No, not worth it." The stranger says, "How about 20?" The Egyptian man says, "No, not worth it." The stranger says, "How about 10?" The Egyptian man says, "No, not worth it." The stranger says, "Listen, these pills cost $10 each in the U.S. How can you say they're not worth it?" The Egyptian man says, "Oh, the pills are worth it my wife isn't."
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has 75.24 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: ethnic, medical, money, viagra, wife
A scientist tells a pharmacist, "Give me some prepared tablets of acetylsalicylic acid." "Do you mean aspirin?" asks the pharmacist. The scientist slaps his forehead. "That's it!" he says. "I can never remember the name."
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has 73.48 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, geek, medical, memory, science
Q: Whats the generic form of Viagra? A: Mycoxaflopin.
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has 71.97 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: medical, viagra
Q: Why is it that so many lawyers have broken noses? A: From chasing parked ambulances.
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has 71.76 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: health, lawyer, medical, stupid
After giving birth, I quit my job. The exit questionnaire asked, "What steps would have prevented you from leaving?" My answer: "Birth control."
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has 71.52 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: baby, birthday, medical, work
Girl: "I can't be your valentine for medical reasons." Boy: "Really?" Girl: "Yeah, you make me sick!"
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has 71.43 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: health, medical, Valentines day
The nose drops „Big smeller" – let´s have a blow-out.
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has 71.43 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: health, medical
A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice. After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, "What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you're out of the office?" "I give it to them," replied the lawyer, "and then I send them a bill." The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try. The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills. When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer.
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has 71.15 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: doctor, lawyer, medical, party
Q: Did you hear about the new Viagra eye-drops? A: Apparently they make you look hard.
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has 70.92 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: health, medical, viagra