The best medical jokes

Q: Why is it that so many lawyers have broken noses? A: From chasing parked ambulances.
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has 75.62 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: health, lawyer, medical, stupid
Q: What is the difference between a Vitamin and a Hormone? A: You can't hear a vitamin.
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has 75.62 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: health, insulting, medical, women
A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice. After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, "What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you're out of the office?" "I give it to them," replied the lawyer, "and then I send them a bill." The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try. The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills. When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer.
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has 75.28 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: doctor, lawyer, medical, party
This lady is on an airplane and is seated next to a man named Ian McKegney. About half an hour after they take off, Ian sneezed. He calmly opened his fly, took out his penis and wiped it with a handkerchief. The lady was shocked but a little too shy to say anything. About 15 minutes later, Ian sneezed again and then once more opened his fly, grabbed his penis and wiped it off. The lady could not beleive it, and being to shy to mention it, she thought to herself, "If he does that again, I'm definitely going to mention it." Well, guess what? About 10 minutes later, Ian sneezed again and proceeded as before. She turned to Ian and said, "That is disgusting! Must you do that in front of me?" Ian apologized and explained that it was a medical condition, "Every time I sneeze, I have an orgasm," he explained. "Really, what do you take for that?" she asked. Ian replied, "Pepper."
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has 74.44 % from 143 votes. More jokes about: airplane, dirty, food, medical, time
A man and his wife went to the pharmacy to pick up his prescription for Viagra. Seeing the $10 per pill price his wife was astonished - but then realized "it's only going to cost us $30 per year."
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has 73.93 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: marriage, medical, money, sex, viagra
Q: What is the first symptom of AIDS? A: A sharp pain in the ass.
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has 73.22 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: health, medical, sex
Q: Did you hear about the new Viagra eye-drops? A: Apparently they make you look hard.
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has 72.80 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: health, medical, viagra
Q: Whats the generic form of Viagra? A: Mycoxaflopin.
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has 71.53 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: medical, viagra
A scientist tells a pharmacist, "Give me some prepared tablets of acetylsalicylic acid." "Do you mean aspirin?" asks the pharmacist. The scientist slaps his forehead. "That's it!" he says. "I can never remember the name."
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has 70.73 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, geek, medical, memory, science
A man and a woman meet in an elevator. "Where are you heading today?" the man asks. "I'm going down to give blood." "How much do you get paid for giving blood?" "About $20." "Wow," says the man, "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100." The woman angrily gets off the elevator. The next day, the man and woman meet in the elevator again. "Fancy meeting you again. Where you off to today?" "Sperm bank," she says with her mouth full.
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has 70.52 % from 146 votes. More jokes about: medical, men, money, sex, women