The best medical jokes

Two medical students were walking along the street when they saw an old man walking with his legs spread apart. He was stiff-legged and walking slowly. One student said to his friend: "I'm sure that poor old man has Peltry Syndrome. Those people walk just like that." The other student says: "No, I don't think so. The old man surely has Zovitzki Syndrome. He walks slowly and his legs are apart, just as we learned in class." Since they couldn't agree they decided to ask the old man. They approached him and one of the students said to him, "We're medical students and couldn't help but notice the way you walk, but we couldn't agree on the syndrome you might have. Could you tell us what it is?" The old man said, "I'll tell you, but first you tell me what you two fine medical students think." The first student said, "I think it's Peltry Syndrome." The old man said, "You thought - but you are wrong." The other student said, "I think you have Zovitzki Syndrome." The old man said, "You thought - but you are wrong." So they asked him, "Well, old timer, what do you have?" The old man said, "I thought it was gas - but I was wrong, too!"
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has 69.88 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: age, health, medical, old people, student
After giving birth, I quit my job. The exit questionnaire asked, "What steps would have prevented you from leaving?" My answer: "Birth control."
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has 69.86 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: baby, birthday, medical, work
A blonde has sharp pains in her side. The doctor examines her and says, "You have acute appendicitis." The blonde says, "That's sweet, doc, but I came here to get medical help."
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has 69.28 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: blonde, doctor, medical, stupid
A woman goes to a doctor, doctor, I'm tired of life, want to finish my life, what is best to kill myself? The doctor says: "Should yourself 5 cm under your breast, you will be dead!" 2 weeks later, woman back at doctors, what happened? I shot myself into my knee.
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has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: doctor, life, medical, time, women
Girl: "I can't be your valentine for medical reasons." Boy: "Really?" Girl: "Yeah, you make me sick!"
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has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: health, medical, Valentines day
Q: What sickness do cowboys get from riding wild horses? A: Bronchitis.
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has 66.10 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: cowboy, health, horse, medical
Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, "Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?" "Outstanding," Fred replied. "They taught us all the latest psychological techniques, visualization, association,it made a huge difference for me." "That's great! What was the name of the clinic?" Fred went blank He thought and thought, but couldn't remember. Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, "What do you call that flower with the long stem and thorns?" "You mean a rose?" "Yes, that's it!" He turned to his wife, "Rose, what was the name of that clinic?"
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has 65.57 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: hospital, medical, memory, old people, wife
Q: How did the medical community come up with the term "PMS"? A: "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken.
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has 65.48 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: health, insulting, medical, women
Q: What do you call a family full of cancer patients? A: Jason Voorhees' relatives.
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has 65.16 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: family, health, medical
Q: How did the first man die from using Viagra? A: The tablet got stuck in his throat and he died from a stiff neck.
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has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: death, medical, viagra