The best music jokes

At Christmas time, there's nothing I love more than sitting in front of a warm fire, mulled wine in hand, and singing Christmas songs until I slowly fall asleep. Maybe that's why I'm no longer a fireman.
has 79.24 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, music, time, wine, work
A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital. The patient has had major surgery to both of his hands. "Doctor," says the man excitedly and dramatically holds up his heavily bandaged hands. "Will I be able to play the piano when these bandages come off?" "I don’t see why not," replies the doctor. "That’s funny," says the man. "I wasn’t able to play it before."
has 78.92 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: doctor, hospital, life, music
There was this old woman who heard a song called “Two Lips and Seven Kisses.” She called up information after hearing the song on the radio to get the name of the record company. In dialing, she erroneously called up a gas station, and she asks, “Do you have “Two Lips and Seven Kisses?” The gas station attendant who answered the phone said, “No, but I have two nuts and seven inches!” So the woman asked, “Is this a record?” To which the man replied, “No, its average!”
has 78.81 % from 125 votes. More jokes about: dirty, music, women
If you rate this kickass, then Chuck Norris WILL roundhouse kick Justin Bieber's ass.
has 78.77 % from 2080 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, music
Q: Why did Humpty Dumpty sit on the wall? A: Because he wanted a photograph with Pink Floyd! Q: And why did Humpty Dumpty have a big fall? A: Because Pink Floyd did not turn up!
has 78.59 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: music
When Chuck Norris crosses the pacific, swimming, sharks hear the "Jaws" music.
has 78.51 % from 166 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, music, travel
There's a double Decker bus driving down the street full of passengers, blonde and brunette. On the lower level of the bus, the brunettes are having a good time, talking, laughing, and singing along to the music playing. On the upper part of the bus, the blondes are seated... they're in a panic. They're screaming, terrified, and holding onto each other as the bus moves along the street. Finally, a brunette gets up and walks to the top of the bus to ask what's wrong, and one of the blonde's replies, "what's wrong?!? Well, you'd be screaming too if you didn't have a driver!!!"
has 78.37 % from 415 votes. More jokes about: blonde, music
What would it take to reunite the Beatles? Two more bullets.
has 78.01 % from 193 votes. More jokes about: black humor, music
Baby, baby, baby ooh! Mom: *walks in* Are you listening to Justin Bieber? Daughter: No, I'm watching porn. Mom: Oh, thank goodness.
has 77.64 % from 144 votes. More jokes about: life, music, sex
Songs are not going to make us do anything we would not ordinarily do. Because if that was the case, the song "Achy Breaky Heart" would have made me kill somebody about a year ago.
has 77.51 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: death, life, music
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