The best music jokes

Music teacher tells Peter: "I warn you, if you will not behave, as appropriate, I tell your parents that you have a talent for music."
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has 74.78 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: music, teacher
Peter: Why was the Olympian not able to listen to music? Matthew: Why? Peter: Because he broke the record!
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has 74.78 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: athlete, music, sport
I bet Rosa Parks killed it in musical chairs.
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has 73.68 % from 194 votes. More jokes about: black humor, celebrity, music
Justin Bieber puked on stage. That settles it, she's pregnant.
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has 73.64 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, life, music
Justin Bieber got 100,000 retweets for tweeting "Live life full". That's just 3 random words. I'm going to try now. Jockstrap squirrel potatoes.
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has 73.37 % from 107 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, internet, life, music
An Ohio State University mortician student walked into the embalming room where a cadaver was lying on the table. Confident that he knew enough now to begin the procedure without his instructor, he began to examine the body. When he rolled it over, he was shocked to see a cork in the man's butt. Mystified, he pulled it out and immediately heard the University of Michigan fight song come out of the guy's butt. Shaken by what had happened, he quickly shoved the cork back into it's original resting place. He then ran to get his instructor, nervously shouting, "Sir, you must come, you won't believe what I discovered!" Annoyed by the interruption, the professor said, "Let's take a look at this astounding discovery." When they entered the morgue, the teacher was also surprised to see the cork, so he approached the table and promptly removed the cork. Upon hearing the University of Michigan fight song, he quickly replaced the cork in the cadaver's butt and said, "What's so surprising about that? I've heard thousands of assholes sing that song!"
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has 73.12 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, music, school, student
A guy goes up to this girl in a bar and says, "Would you like to dance?" The girl says, "I don’t like this song, but even if I did, I wouldn’t dance with you." The guy says, "I’m sorry, you must have misunderstood me, I said you look fat in those pants."
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has 72.80 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: bar, fat, music, women
I like my girl to be Hannah on the streets but Miley in the sheets.
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has 72.56 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, life, music, women
A guy dies and is sent to hell. Extremely frightened because of that, he is very surprised when he arrives; beach, palm trees, sun is shining, happy people around in shorts and bikinis. Behind the next corner there are people eating great food and there's some cool music playing. After some time of wondering, a man in an expensive suit approaches him and says: "Hi, you must be the new one. Welcome to hell, I'm the devil. As you're gonna spend eternity here, make yourself comfortable and have a drink. If anything bothers you, always feel free to ask me." The guy still doesn't really understand what's going on, this is not what he expected. But finally he decides to inspect the area. Everywhere he goes, there are people laughing and having a great time, there's games, party and fun all around. Then he arrives at a steep cliff that divides the paradise hell from an area underneath, and there is hell as we know it: demons torturing the doomed, there's fire and the smell of brimstone. Shocked, he runs to the devil and says "Devil, how can that be? Here, we have the sweet eternity and down there people are tortured and burned! How can that be?!" The devil laughs and says "Oh, that. That's the Catholics - they want it that way."
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has 72.48 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: catholic, death, life, music, party
When Chuck Norris crosses the pacific, swimming, sharks hear the "Jaws" music.
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has 72.45 % from 193 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, music, travel
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