Chuck Norris can play the saxophone... while holding his breath.
Chuck Norris can keep up with the Kardashians.
When Chuck Norris crosses the pacific, swimming, sharks hear the "Jaws" music.
Mom can i buy some heels? No. Mom can i buy a bra? No. Mom can i buy a dress? No. Mom can i buy a barbie doll? No. You never let me buy anything! Shut up, Justin.
I bet Rosa Parks killed it in musical chairs.
Justin Bieber got 100,000 retweets for tweeting "Live life full". That's just 3 random words. I'm going to try now. Jockstrap squirrel potatoes.
Kanye West compared himself to Michelangelo, Picasso, Walt Disney and Steve Jobs. Apparently none of them could sing, either.
I went to an ISIS birthday party once. The musical chairs were a bit slow but fuck me the pass the parcel was quick.
Gordan Ramsey:Theres more smoke in this kitchen than snopp dogg tour bus.
When my wife starts to sing I always go out and do some garden work so our neighbors can see there's no domestic violence going on.