The best music jokes

At Christmas time, there's nothing I love more than sitting in front of a warm fire, mulled wine in hand, and singing Christmas songs until I slowly fall asleep. Maybe that's why I'm no longer a fireman.
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has 77.64 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, music, time, wine, work
Songs are not going to make us do anything we would not ordinarily do. Because if that was the case, the song "Achy Breaky Heart" would have made me kill somebody about a year ago.
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has 77.51 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: death, life, music
Justin Bieber got 100,000 retweets for tweeting "Live life full". That's just 3 random words. I'm going to try now. Jockstrap squirrel potatoes.
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has 77.41 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, internet, life, music
An FM station has a competition where they ring someone up and ask them three personal questions. Then they ring their spouse or partner and ask them the same three questions. If the answers are the same, the couple wins a holiday to Bali. Last week the competition went like this: Presenter: Hello, it's XXX-FM, do you want to play the game? Brian: Yeah, sure. Presenter: O.K., Question 1 — when was the last time you had sex? Brian: Oh, mate. Well, about 8 o'clock this morning. Presenter: And how long did it go for, Brian ? Brian: Oh, about 10 minutes. Presenter: 10 minutes? Good one. And where did you do it, mate? Brian: Oh, mate, I can't say that. Presenter: There's a holiday to Bali at stake here, Brian ! Brian: Okay, okay...on the kitchen table. Presenter: (much laughter). Good one, Brian. Now, is it okay for us to call your wife? Brian: Yeah, all right. Presenter: Hi Sharelle, how are you? Sharelle: Hi. Good, thanks. Presenter: (Explains competition again) We've got Brian on the other line, say hello. Sharelle: Hi, Brian. Brian: Hi, Sharelle. Presenter: Now, Sharelle, we're going to ask you the same three questions we asked Brian and if you give the same answers, you win a trip for two to Bali. Brian: Just tell the truth, honey. Sharelle: Okay. Presenter: Sharelle, when was the last time you had sex ? Sharelle: Oh, no, I can't say that on the radio. Brian: Sharelle, it doesn't matter. I've already told them. Sharelle: Okay. About 8:00 this morning before Brian went to work. Presenter: Good, nice start! Next question. How long did it go for Sharelle? Sharelle: (giggling) About 12, maybe 15 minutes. Co-Presenter: That's close enough...Brian was just being a gentleman. Presenter: Okay, Sharelle — final question. Where did you do it? Sharelle: Oh, no I can't say that. My mum could be listening. No way, no. Presenter: There's a trip to Bali on the line here. Brian: Sharelle, I've already told them so it doesn't matter anyway. Just tell them. Sharelle: Oh, all right. Up the arse! Radio Silence — Advertising Presenter: Sorry if anyone was offended before, we're going live here, and sometimes these things happen. We've given Brian and Sharelle the holiday. Now we'll take a music break.
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has 77.34 % from 197 votes. More jokes about: dirty, game, music, time
Baby, baby, baby ooh! Mom: *walks in* Are you listening to Justin Bieber? Daughter: No, I'm watching porn. Mom: Oh, thank goodness.
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has 77.34 % from 142 votes. More jokes about: life, music, sex
Me: I just bought Tupacs of Eminems for 50 Cents. Friend: That's Ludacris. How Kanye West your money like that?
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has 77.26 % from 111 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, life, money, music
Why does Rick Ross rap about cars when he cant fit in them.
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has 76.99 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, life, music
Kanye West compared himself to Michelangelo, Picasso, Walt Disney and Steve Jobs. Apparently none of them could sing, either.
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has 76.20 % from 206 votes. More jokes about: life, music
50Cent used to be called DollarBill but Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked him to the face and now he's half the man he used to be.
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has 76.06 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, music
My girlfriend left me because of my obsession with Linkin Park. But In the end, it doesn't even matter.
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has 76.06 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: life, music
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