Two medical students were walking along the street when they saw an old man walking with his legs spread apart.
He was stiff-legged and walking slowly.
One student said to his friend: "I'm sure that poor old man has Peltry Syndrome. Those people walk just like that."
The other student says: "No, I don't think so. The old man surely has Zovitzki Syndrome. He walks slowly and his legs are apart, just as we learned in class."
Since they couldn't agree they decided to ask the old man.
They approached him and one of the students said to him, "We're medical students and couldn't help but notice the way you walk, but we couldn't agree on the syndrome you might have. Could you tell us what it is?"
The old man said, "I'll tell you, but first you tell me what you two fine medical students think."
The first student said, "I think it's Peltry Syndrome."
The old man said, "You thought - but you are wrong."
The other student said, "I think you have Zovitzki Syndrome."
The old man said, "You thought - but you are wrong."
So they asked him, "Well, old timer, what do you have?"
The old man said, "I thought it was gas - but I was wrong, too!"
Yo mama is so old that when she walked out of a museum the alarm went off.
Vote:
An elderly man remembers the good old days:
“When I was young, my mom could send me to a shop with a single $, and I would bring back 5 pounds of potatoes, 2 breads, a bottle of milk, a piece of cheese and 10 eggs. Nowadays that’s impossible – there are simply to many security cameras."
Vote:
There was an old couple who hadn't celebrated Halloween in a long time, so they decided to dress up and go out.
The old woman went in her bedroom, stripped naked, and tied a string between her legs with a lemon at the end of the string.
When she walked out of the room her husband yelled, "You can't go out like that!"
"I can go out as whatever I want and so can you!"
The man agreed and went into his room.
Soon he came out naked with a string tied to his penis and a potato at the end of the string.
The woman said, "You're going out as that?"
"Yes," said the old man. "If you can go out as a sourpuss, I can go out as a dicktator."
Vote:
Two elderly gentlemen are playing cards on Saturday evening just as they have done for the past 50 years.
Gus, the elder, had been having problems remembering what cards were what, and usually needed help from his wife.
At the end of the card game Red said to Gus, "You did very good tonight. You didn't need any help at all. Why is that?"
Gus replied, "Why, ever since my wife sent me to that memory school, I haven't had any problems at all."
"Memory school? What memory school?"
Gus thought for a moment, "Oh, what's that flower that's red with thorns? A really pretty flower..."
"A rose?" asked Red.
"Yeah, that's it!"
Gus turned to his wife and mumbled, "Hey, Rose! What's the name of that memory school you sent me to?"
Yo momma so old...
Jurassic Park brought back the memories...
Vote:
My granddad always used to say;
"As one door closes, another one opens..."
Lovely man, terrible cabinet maker.
Vote:
The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does.
Vote:
An old lady went to visit her dentist.
When it was her turn she sat in the chair, lowered her underpants and raised her legs.
The dentist said: "Excuse me; I 'm not a gynecologist."
"I know," said the old lady "I want you to take my husband's teeth out."
Two police officers saw an old woman staggering out a local bar, stopping her they can tell she has had far too much to drink and instead of taking her to jail they decide to just drive her home.
They loaded her into the police cruiser one of the officers gets in the back with the drunk woman.
As they drove through the streets they kept asking the old woman where she lived, all the old lady would say as she stroked the officers arm is, "You're Passionate."
They drove awhile longer and asked again, but again the same response as she stroked his arm, "You're Passionate."
The officers were getting a little upset so they stopped the car and said to the woman, "Look we have driven around this city for two hours and you still haven't told us where you live!"
She replied, "I keep trying to tell you, you're passin it!"